Nasty, dirty, vile, evil, commie Elves

From: James Frusetta <gerakkag_at_wam.umd.edu>
Date: Sat, 12 Apr 1997 15:53:13 -0400 (EDT)


Pam Carlson suggests that forests are realms of conflict; James Wadsley counters that Elves really care about plants.

(Ho ho), I might offer a really, really biased opinion. MGF ahoy!

***
All trolls know, of course, about the secret elven theories of Gnarled Barks. Barks codified Elven philosophy ("Barksism") in the form that remains today. Barksism is a direct affront to us freedom loving, individualistic and free-market trolls, which is why we consume -- er, confront -- Elves throughout history. Some of its precepts:

Since the Dawn, there are basically three stages of ecology: pre-forest, forest, and Elven forest. There is a natural progression between these stages.

Pre-forested lands are usually the product of artificial manipulation by Humans and others, and their natural inclination to forest is very great. Forests are (as Pam describes) sources of conflict between competing species. But forests, in turn, are incline to become (with judicious leadership) Elf Forests: once conflict becomes too terrible, the forest turns to Aldrya to lead them to harmony.

In Elf forests, the wise and benevolent Elves serve to lead and guide the forest. Conflict can be managed and eradicated; this requires the continued but intermediate existence of a ruling elf council to represent the will of the lower plant orders (the "dicatorship of the grasses"). It also requires, until a perfect plant utopia can be formed, a centrally-run ecology directed by the elves and selected members of the other orders. Eventually, however, the forest will have achieved perfect harmony and the need for such artificial distinctions as councils, class and runelevel will fade away.

***
So said Barks, in brief. In practice, of course, things are not nearly as clean. The elves hold sway in a totalitarian society in which individual plants are assessed for their value to the forest, not their value as individual life. Some Elves (e.g., Fronela, which holds to the theories of Comrade Plow) believe it's possible to jump from pre-Forest farmland to Elven Forest ecology in one jump; the wishes of those who inhabit the area are not considered. Elf forests surrounded by enemies may be forced to comprimise and to allow the forest's resources to be used by others (the "New Ecologic Plan"). And, of course, it's possible for evil and vile Elves (even more evil and vile than Elves naturally are) to corrupt the Barksist system for their own personal power: I refer, of course, to Comrade Pollen of the Hellwood.

As such, Elves are expansionistic baddies who seek to undermine the natural modes of non-Elven order and replace it with their own! All non-Elves learn to become one with the forest or serve to feed it -- where do you think all those people in Fronela will go? That's right -- fertilizer! Stand up against the Elven menace before they come for you!

;) Nope, no bias here.


One minor quibble; James Wadsley wrote:
>If Elves must heavily exploit a plant species, I expect it
>involves raiding other territories. IMO, an Elf may well look on
>warped trees that produce trinkets full time as modern people look on
>child labourers sewing Nikes.

Unless, of course, Elves honestly believe that the proper purpose of a trinket-growing tree is to produce trinkets, and that having it make more trinkets makes it happier. Or that ordering the extermination of a particular species of weed is really a good thing, because it makes the overall forest stronger. Etc., etc.

I'd side with you on the Elves sharing Human emotions, though. The vogue seemes to be that all non-Human societies are pretty darn alien, and that Elves wouldn't share human emotions. I've always stressed, myself, that the non-Humans all share the Man Rune and thus (IMO) share a basic "Humanness." Put me in the Lavanse the Longtongue School of non-human studies, I suppose, even if "Man Troll" sounds dippy.

***
Just an IMO: I've always found it... interesting... that most of the RQ gamers I've known think of trolls as brutish louts without any redeeming civilized features and no empathy for other forms of life and dwarves as mechanistic louts with no empathy for other forms of life. But Elves are usually good guys who frolic in the forest. And I've seen a lot more Elves as PCs than any other race.

No more! I say it's time the Elves got a bad name, too. Buncha baby-mulching commie thugs. ;) More seriously, that it was recognized that Elves are just as "different" -- and as "bad" if you happen to be a Human in Glorantha -- as a troll or a dwarf. Elves do bad stuff to Humans, too.

Jamuz Fruzetta


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