Beauty vs. Beasts (was"Not about pics")

From: Mike Dawson <mdawson_at_...>
Date: Thu, 22 Mar 2001 19:37:04 -0000


Great quote!

>
> Sexist, naturally, but I confess, I like it. :) I'm afraid my HW
> knowledge is not quite up to par yet, can anyone tell me-- is there a
> "beauty" keyword that would equate to this?? If there isn't, perhaps
> there should be...
>
> -Melanie

Sure! This is the great joy of Hero Wars. As long as the skill is appropriate enough that the ref says you can use it, and its modifiers aren't too bad (or the skill is huge enough to overcome the modifiers) then you can oppose a character's beauty vs. another character's Close Combat, or whatever.

Look at Helen (I'd be happy to) in the Illiad. When Troy falls, Agamemnon rushes into her palace bedroom with his sword drawn to kill her, incensed at her faithlessness and the shame he has brought on her, not to mention the thousands of Greeks and Trojans who have died because of her.

I'd say Agamemnon had Close Combat 12W2, Superior Short Sword ^3, with his Close Combat augmented by his Hate Helen for her Faithlessness 9W for a +3, giving Agamemnon 15W2^3 and 55AP.

I wish I had a copy of the Illiad around to get Agamemnon's exact statement of intent, but I know it was something big like "rush forward, grab the bitch by the hair and stab her in the heart." that's a big AP bid, but actually Helen is going to get to make the bid----

Helen is defenseless in combat. Her statement of intent was something like "Recline on the bench and bare my breasts at my former husband while sighing and looking him straight in the eye." That's a real "all or nothing" sort of statement.

Now, this wouldn't work so well if Helen was Beautiful 5W. But Helen was, I think, more like Beautiful 12W3. She also used her Physical Skill of Most Beautiful Breasts in Heaven and Earth 10W3 to augment her Beautiful--let's say she went for a conservative +5W, giving Helen's attempt to defeat Agamemnon a base of 17W4.

Even if the ref is tough and hits her with a -15 for attempting to -ahem- stop a shortsword with her breasts, that still gives her 2W4 & 82 AP vs Agamemnon's 15W2^3 and 55 AP, or evened out at 2W2 & 82 AP vs 15^3 and 55 AP . With her "all or nothing" statement, let's assume she bid 65 AP.

Her worst case is Agamemnon's Critical vs. her Success. That's if the natural rolls have her fumbling and him critting, of course.

And if Agamemnon hadn't bothered to buy off all his "Relationship Helen", I'd make that a handicap for him.

Of course, in the story, when Agamemnon sees Helen's "presentation" he drops his sword and falls to his knees weeping at her beauty. I think he rolled a 18, and she rolled between a 3 and 17, giving her a crit vs his failure.

Considering that the contest would be resolved in one round anyway (Agamemnon either stabs her or not) the ref doesn't even have to run it as an extended contest.

The moral of the story? Never underestimate the power of a couple of bumps.

Sorry. Couldn't resist.

Helen's worst problems always came from other women....

Mike

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