OT: Hwaet the Hell! (O-E Humour)

From: John Hughes <nysalor_at_...>
Date: Wed, 25 Apr 2001 11:15:22 +1000

I found the 'Beowulf ond Godsylla' sendup and a few other humourous
'Old-English' poems at:

 http://www1.rhbnc.ac.uk/english/old-english/Modern_Assimilations.html

At the bottom of that page you'll find a section called 'New' Old English Texts, with links to Beocat, Beowulf ond Godsylla, Hrodulf the Red-nosed Reindeer (That's it Roderick!) and Beowulf's Return.

I was especially taken by 'Beowulf and Godsylla' because of its rpg flavour. The text is taken from Tom Weller, Culture Made Stupid (Boston: Houghton Mifflin, 1987). If it doesn't seem to make sense, try reading it aloud. It's the reol thyng...

Beowulf ond Godsylla

Meanehwael, baccat meaddehale,     monstaer lurccen;
Fulle few too many drincce,     hie luccen for fyht.
Den Hreorfneorhthwr,     son of Hrwaerowtheororthwl,
Aesccen aewful jeork     to steop outsyd.
Thud!  Bashe!  Crasch!     Beom!  De bigge gye
Eallum his bon brak,     byt his nose offe;
Wicced Godsylla     waeld on his asse.

Monstaer moppe fleor wyth     eallum men in haelle.
Beowulf in bacceroome     fonecall bemaccen waes;
Hearen sond of ruccus     saed, 'Hwaet the helle?'
Graben sheold strang     ond swich-blaed scharp
Stond feorth to fyht     the grimlic foe.


'Me,' Godsylla saed,     'mac the minsemete.'

Heoro cwyc geten heold     with faemed half-nelson
Ond flyng him lic frisbe     bac to fen.
Beowulf belly up to meaddehaele bar,
Saed, 'Ne foe beaten     mie faersom cung-fu.'
Eorderen cocca-colha     yce-coeld, the reol thyng.