The Truth about Texas

From: Chris Lemens <chrislemens_at_z-crxuYkBdWyo2lL8tYtoX9VBSE8u7h7N6CvLHEf5YLC0szGt63MemYheVPAe8kq>
Date: Mon, 12 Feb 2007 08:01:00 -0600


Jane schedules the next invasion of Britain by slandering Texas thusly:

> I was just wondering, for Australia, Texas, and come
> to think of it Canada: yes, lots of land area. But how
> much of it is, by reasonable human standards,
> habitable? The descriptions I've heard of Texas
> suggest that "none" is a pretty close approximation,

Going from east to west in Texas, you start off knee-deep in the 50 mile swamp that helps keep Yankees out. It is mostly cypress forest, but among ourselves, we just call it ringworm. All of the high spots have towns on them, but watch out for the alligators.

Moving further west, this quickly turns into the Piney Woods (except along the coast, which I'll return to later). The trees hide the sky and are so tightly packed that, when they die, they don't fall. This is what we call East Texas. There are lots of small towns here. And even more lakes. There are pockets where the oil wells still run. Physically, they have only changed because of Wall-Mart. Many are now prospering again as rich city folks buy country places. Tyler, home of the Tyler rose, is at the northern end of this area.

Continuing west, we come to the broad crescent of land east of the edge of the Edwards escarpment, where the land falls several hundred feet over the space of about 20 miles. This results in a huge number of springs, making this wonderful farming country (also due to the runoff) and wonderful for tubing downriver. Probably 40% of the population of Texas lives in cities that sprung up here: Denton, Dallas/Fort Worth, Waxahachie, Hillboro, Waco, Temple, Georgtown, Austin, San Antonio. There are many lakes, mostly man-made, as a result of flood control efforts. West of Austin is an oddity called the Hill Country, where the Edwards escarpment ripples. Interesting country to ride around. Lots of old German towns here, like Pflugerville.

Further west, we encounter two regions. To the north is high prairie. This is cattle country. Avoid driving through Amarillo when the wind blows from the stockyards. Do stock at any of the steak places. Look for one that advertises their 64+ ounce steak. (Usually, you get it for free if you eat the whole thing, with a loaded baked potato. Sadly, the size keeps getting bigger as the local football teams have proven exactly how big a steak one person can eat.) Many small towns: Rainbow, Muleshoe, Gun Barrel; I guess they named them after the first thing they saw. The grass is lush most times of year; rivers run except in summer.

To the south is the part of Texas you see in TV. This stretches out across the Permian basin. This is the home of Texas 5-man football, for schools too small to put together a full squad. The land scrubland, rising and falling about once a mile, but gently rising as you go west. Hot and dry. Goats, tough cattle, jack rabbits, snakes, mule deer. As you near the next region, you come across Marfa, the second weirdest town in Texas. With a permanent population of only a few hundred, they have a world-class art museum here, more tourists than residents, and the strange phenomenon known as the Marfa lights.

Even further west, you come to mountains. Yes, mountains in Texas. They rarely have snow on them, and you can't ever ski them. This is the Davis mountains. We have McDonald Observatory there, making best use of the humidity free, thin air. This area is really desolate. Think Vulture's Country. Most hills are bald rock. Big Bend State Park is in the mountains. It is visually stunning, kind of like a graveyard is. It gets cold here at night.

Finally, we reach El Paso. Did you know that El Paso is half-way from Austin to Los Angeles?

Along the coast, the land is much less variable. In the east, the land is swampy. Houston, the largest urban area in Texas, was built around a bayou. Galveston Island, right off the coast near Houston, is the second oldest town in Texas. Further west, most of the coast is characterized by islands running parallel to the coast, with coarse sand beaches on the Gulf side and fine muddy sand on the interior side. The waterway between the island and the shore is often coastal swamp. At the southern end of one of the longest islands is the town of Padre Island, home of the biggest spring break party in Texas.

Further south along the coast, we come to the King Ranch, a piece of property larger than the smallest US state. South of here, be prepared to speak Spanish exclusively, even tough you are still supposedly in Texas. You've now reached the Rio Grande valley. They have at least 2 growing seasons a year here, depending on what they are growing. This is basically a big outdoor greenhouse. Unfortunately, the folks upstream have been siphoning off more and more water over the last 50 years, so the Rio is down to a muddy trickle.

So, there it is. Did I mention that it is pleasantly warm most of the year?

Chris            

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