Re: Vinga chiseler?

From: Stewart Stansfield <stu_stansfield_at_ntvAGUUg5v4P-3HHhzQAAkVeXvy--cB7Cr9ck8mm6BsM35nGwSgou8i4zAg86>
Date: Mon, 23 Apr 2007 18:48:57 -0000


El Jefe:
> Folk want to play Xena with red hair.

*Sigh* This is the problem wi' accommodating ter young folk today! What ever happened to Red Sonja? She definitely weren't a lesbian... witness her response to the Evil Lesbian Villainess (TM) wicked Queen Gedren's advances. Mind you, in my Glorantha JarEel is rapidly turning into a feminine Rupert of Hentzau, so what do I know...

Since lesbianism is in Vogue (it is?!) again, I should post my writeup  of the Evil Lesbian Villainess cult. Don't try and grope one of these ladies with a Morokanth! (Unless you're a complete prick, of course.)

Dargon the Desirous Defiler
God of Atrociously Acted Evil Lesbian Villainesses

Dargon the Dark Demon King is worshipped in many lands, by many peoples, and in…er…many ways. Dargon is only his Spolite moniker, and his guises are many, following the myths of the local lands in his worship. He is commonly depicted as a muscular, well-endowed man, carved from marble, basalt or alabaster. One absolute constant remains: his name. It always ends in the letters "—rgon". —rgon is especially popular among the dark temples of Spol, cruel fur-strewn wagons of Pent and the licentious Varthanite bowers of Esrolia. Rumours persist of Mistress Trolls worshipping —rgon, though this would surely spell the end of creation, and tax the greatest powers of the EVIL LESBIAN VILLAINESS' leather corset maker.

Only a few women turn to the dark worship of —rgon, and for good reason. He has a relatively poor track record in Divine Aid, and his minions are pursued and defeated by most other pantheons. Yet worship of this god is a riot while it lasts. All worshippers must concentrate their magic and devote to the god (devotees are titled `EVIL LESBIAN VILLAINESS', or `ELV' for short): there are no initiates. I mean, come on, is it remotely possible to have a nondevoted  megalomaniacal villainess? The disparate nature of the cult precludes a well-defined temple hierarchy, though worshippers of — rgon follow the unwritten rule that it's bad form to impinge upon another EVIL LESBIAN VILLAINESS' patch. It's a difficult enough job as it is, without the sisters getting catty with each other.

Devotees of —rgon always get one Follower for free on becoming a member of the cult. This is a male warrior Retainer. Women are too intelligent, make bad lieutenants, and compete for the affections of heroes and heroines. I mean, look at what happened in Willow. It is suggested that EVIL LESBIAN VILLAINESSES spend two Hero Points (or should that be EVIL LESBIAN VILLAINESS Points?) to turn him into a Sidekick as soon as possible. Sleeping with a Follower is a definite no-no. Withholding yet vaguely promising sexual favours in return for their completion of nefarious deeds is the way to go. They should always increase a follower's combat abilities after every session (if they can). The Hero munchkins always do this, and EVIL LESBIAN VILLAINESSES have a reputation to keep up.

There is a slight problem in nomenclature here, in that EVIL LESBIAN VILLAINESSES are not actually uniformly homosexual by profession. Their sexual preferences are no different than anyone else's, and thus vary widely. Yet it is widely recognized that one cannot be the villainess de rigueur without being able to react to all possible situations of lustful impropriety. Therefore all EVIL LESBIAN VILLAINESSES display at least affectations towards bisexuality. Evil Bisexual Villainess would be a more accurate description, therefore, but old traditions die hard. EVIL LESBIAN VILLAINESS just sounds better.

Entry Requirements: to Devote to the Cult of —rgon, one must be all of three things (i) a woman, and (ii) a moderately attractive (if locally disfigured) woman at that, (iii) but not too pretty, that's the prerogative of the heroine; and (iv) be unconnected with reality. Well, four things, then. Having a supposedly sensuous sounding name like…er…Sultana probably helps too.

Abilities: Devotee of —rgon, Evil Bitch Fighting (a broad ability; starting characters should choose from two of the following specializations: Erotic Wrestling, Nail Fighting, Hair Grabbing, Hair Pin Fighting, Kicking and Sacrificial Knife Fighting), Indolent Grace, Languorous Stride, Lounge Revealingly, Mythology of —rgon, Operate Freely in/while (choose two from: Constricting Leather Armour, High Heels, Knee-length Hair Extensions, Ludicrous Gown, Swaddled in Furs, Wearing Ludicrous Helmet or Headdress), Place Hands on Hips and Laugh in a Unsettling Monotone Cackle that is Rather Louder than is Appropriate, Scheme, Seduction, Sneer, Tantalizingly Run Fingers Over Muscular Flesh.

Virtues: Arrogant, Callous, Dedicated, Immoral, Licentious, Lustful, Megalomaniacal, Scheming, Vain, Vengeful.

Affinities and Feats:

        R Herolust (Discern Rival, Disguise Self as Hero's True Love, Ensorcel Beefcake, Inspire Lust)

        R Heroinelust (Enchant Heroine, Erode Will, Hide Lust with Pretence of Sisterhood, Wreak Vengeance on All Heroine Holds Dear, Strike Rival in Affections)

        b Horn of —rgon (Find Exit While Palace is Crumbling Around You, Incite Orgy, Lore Trance of —rgon ritual, Resist Hero's Magic)

Secret: Pragmatism (A truly deadly secret, that few EVIL LESBIAN VILLAINESSES ever persevere (or survive) long enough to achieve. Worshippers see beyond the illusory trappings and ceremony of the schemes of —rgon, and instead focus on the matters at hand. No more chaining of the oiled Hero Sidekick to the rack—just kill him. Heroine proving a little feisty? Feed her to the rats—there are plenty of luscious red-haired Vingans out there. Worshippers ignore all Flaws they might possess, and gain a bonus equal to a ¼ of the secret's rating on attempts to follow their plans. They might actually succeed.)

Other Side: —rgon doesn't really have an `Other Side'. Most EVIL LESBIAN VILLAINESSES ultimately desire to find some lost ritual that will bring their god as flesh into the mortal world, to rule at their side and get all naughty with. As this would sadly result in the collapse of the Compromise, and the plans are pretty optimistic best, this has so far proven unsuccessful. Doesn't stop them trying, though.

Disadvantages: the path of the devoted EVIL LESBIAN VILLAINESS is a difficult one. People just refuse to see your side of the story, or understand your motivation. Furthermore, one pays for one's art. Any self-respecting devotee of —rgon will typically possess a couple out of the following disadvantages: Afraid of Rodents, Cowardice towards Combat, Delayed Reactions in Conversation, Disfigured by Object of Lust, Fail to Perceive Crucial Flaw in Plan, Fluff Important Evil Speech, Incompetent, Mentally Short-Sighted, No Charisma.            

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