Re: Modern economics for Heortlings

From: julianlord <julian.lord_at_aUSY18kwBW5YoCELRmQdHOzctTOMDSNLUtI5a3hSu8KULDj4w63g1MP4W6PG4gTf>
Date: Wed, 19 Mar 2008 23:51:01 -0000

GOD LEARNER : You have two cows. You sell their milk, then you mythically swap one of them for a bull from ancient Dureving mythology, and send the resulting twin calves off to pasture in the Green Age. You then slaughter your cattle for the meat, and sell it for more good cash. You create a false religion around the Twin Calf Pastures, and your two cows return through a gaping hole in the cosmos. You have two cows.

DRAGONEWT : Two cows have you. Cow Left teaches you the secrets of the Upright Moo, which you meditate for three years. When you return, Right Cow continues along her own path. You mate with her, and after a while she gives birth to Cow Left. You unlearn this, and grow six inches shorter. OBOR.

PRAXIAN : You have two cows. Waha mighty !!! You personally slaughter them, for tonight's feasting. Has been ump good day's raiding. Tomorrow perhaps, there will be three cows !! Good skins for trade with Rabbit People.

MOSTALI : Two female bovine units assigned for disposal procedure. Estimated cost for reduction to useful components 6 work periods. Recommendation use of 1 unsilled work unit, possible non-Mostali, for waste removal and other non-intensive labour. Estimate approx. 7.5 cubic meters storage space necessary, including 2.1 cubic meters designated for swift consumption protocols. Report to follow on conservation agents remaining in stock posterior to completion of planned disposal procedure.

DUCK : You have two cows. Stand and delibber ! Give them to ME !!! Waugh-waugh-waugh-waugh !!!

ARKATI : You have two cows. You lead them on to greener pastures, where they are set upon and slaughtered by your new troll allies. You now have two Karrg beetles. You lead them to a bright new future in Dorastor.

UZ : You have two cows. You give one to your mother, and the other to your wife, but they let you gobble down the lovely steaming tripe. Time for a good piss-up, then it's down to watch the Trollball...