2- There are certain clans that you can please by particular things, like pleasing the vingan clan by appointing a female chief, or pleasing the sage or uroxi clans by building temples to their respective favorite deities. It can be an easy way to help smooth relations if it is something that is reasonable for you anyway.
But yah, sometimes you get a weird draw. There was one where my neighbors included pretty much every war clan in the game: raiding clan, war rock clan, vingan clan, reforms bandits clan, and uroxi clan. So I made a real point of finding a peace clan or two to get into that tribe, since I knew there would be no shortage of war clans. (Dave hinted that if your tribe is heavily slanted to war clans, it is harder to arrange the truce between warring tribes by building a city together. I'm not sure if there is any particular benefit to having a lot of war like clans in your tribe, other than if you actually end up in a tribal war, I guess).
--Bryan
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