I think she just needed a crisis in order to focus herself.
My impression about the Esluvari are that they worship Orlanth and his crew through misapplied worship as Saints. The RW analogue I always picture (how accurate it is I don't know) are the Normans. They were once fellow Heortlings but now they've mostly converted. They would have some standards of chivarly, etc. though probably not as highly developed as true Westerners.
I love the mental image of Melisande's spurned fiance riding up every morning to the ramp into Whitewall and calling a challenge up to Broyan to come down and fight him like a man. Meanwhile the Lunars and the defenders are all laughing at him behind his back. He's a right git but he's living by his code. Could Broyan ignore the challenges or does he occassionally send down a champion to duke it out?
Oliver
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