Baboon bits, part 1 of 4

From: Argrath_at_aol.com
Date: Sun, 4 Dec 1994 14:46:24 -0500


The following is something I wrote some time ago, when I did a boatload of "What the Priest Said/What Dad Said" write-ups. I've modified it somewhat, to make it slightly less boring. Hey, it may be of use to somebody. It's in 4 parts because AOL treats PC users as second class citizens.

     In any case, I based the social notes in the "What the Big Guy Told Me" on the book _The Pumphouse Gang_ (author: Schwartz?). The book reexamined baboon society without phallocentric preconceptions. The way males join a troop is to befriend females and their young. Baboons won't attack an infant baboon, so the new males hide behind the infant to avoid getting attacked. Of course, they need the mother's permission to do so.

                  Two Legs Bad, Four Legs Good:
                   What the Baboon Shaman Says

             Copyright (c) 1992, 1994 Martin R. Crim
                         except as noted

Where Did the World Come From?
Hykim and Mykih, the ancient beasts, mated to produce the world. Mykih gave birth to all the world and everything in it. Then the bad gods broke parts of the world. They turned some of the animals into plants, some into spirits, and others into chaos.

     Then Old Man fooled the humans into believing they were better than animals. This changed the humans, making them lose their speed, much of their hair, and their big teeth. They gained bad magics, including the opposable thumb. The humans were inferior to animals, but used their bad magics to steal intelligence from the animals. Thus, we are one of the few types of animal that can talk.

Where Did I Come from?
Grandfather Baboon sent your soul to us. You are the reincarnation of one of our ancestors. All of us have been born many times, and died many times. We will return again and again.

Why Do We Die?
The ignorant humans slew Grandfather Baboon with bad magics. The bad magics cursed his offspring, so that all baboons must die.

What Happens after We Die?
We go to the land of Grandfather Baboon, where we dwell in a land of plenty. After a long time, he sends us back to the surface world to aid our kin.

Why Am I Here?
You are here to be part of the troop. You help the troop maintain the ancient strengths. We wait for the humans to annihilate each other. Then we will rebuild the Animal Empire.

How Do I Do Magic?
Grandfather Baboon knows all spells, and he teaches his shamans. The shamans can then teach you.

I Have Heard of Other Powers. Can You Tell Me the Truth about Them?
The human powers all hate us, because we are living reminders of their perfidy. Beware of them, because they want to persecute us into extinction.

...Chaos?

The troop of the worst gods, who tried to destroy the world. Storm Bull stopped them, but not until after they smashed and ruined the Monkey Metropolis.

...Hykimi?

These humans worship animal gods. They know that humans and animals once were one. They give us more respect than other humans do. There are few of them near us--only the Basmoli lionpeople  in Prax and the Telmori wolf-people in Sartar.

...Kyger Litor?

The goddess of night-men, or trolls. Her troop competes with us for hunting grounds. The night-men are strong and fierce, and want to eat us. Long ago, we defeated them. Since then, they have remained up north, in the desolate area called Shadows Dance.

...Lunar Goddess?

This god came from up north and conquered the Prax nomads. Her worshipers are humans, but they came to us in friendship, with words of wisdom. It is too early to tell whether she is a true friend. Some troops have begun to worship her.

...Magasta?

The god of the sea once invaded the land, but the Baboon Empire drove him back. Now he is no longer a threat.

...Monotheists?

These humans invaded Prax long ago, but we drove them out. They had powerful magics, but knew nothing of true shamanhood and abused the spirit world.

...Orlanth?

The major human god of Sartar and Heortland, and a despoiler of the Baboon Empire. He is an enemy still. He is the Red Moon Goddess's enemy, too, which makes us think she is a friend.


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