The Start of the Great Cheese War (1)
by Harald Smith
It all started after Ilsandor was cast out of the Ronon marl for one year for failure to uphold his guestright (2). After a series of disastrous encounters and his luck nearly gone, Ilsandor stepped into the kettle and was taken hostage by the dwarfs. But Ilsandor was not yet cooked and he somehow won the Eversharpening Blade. The dwarfs were most upset, but Ilsandor demanded his release and they had to assent.
On his way out of the dwarf fortress, though, a wily dwarf offered Ilsandor a deal. In return for the Eversharpening Blade, the dwarfs would give Ilsandor the Silver Key to a cave of great magical treasures. Ilsandor was torn, but greed won out and Ilsandor took the bargain. (3)
With the Silver Key, Ilsandor went to the cave and opened the door. Only after the dwarfs closed the door behind him, did he realize that the key only worked one way. He was stuck with the treasure of the cave--a marble statue of a laughing man covered with green mold. He searched all through the cave, but all he found were bags producing the most hideous stench. The smell was so strong that Ilsandor had to plug his nose.
Realizing that he had been duped, he did the only thing he could--he took the statue, hoping that it would prove of some use. In its place he left the cattle goad that he had stolen from the Valusi marl.
Ilsandor eventually returned to his marl, the Ronon, after his year was done. He still had the statue and he presented it as his token of goodwill, though he knew not its use. The Keepers and Seekers knew otherwise. For this was Renurdas the Green Veined Spirit and from him the clan gained the secret of cheesemaking.
The Polan marl had honored this spirit and held the cave as sacred. When they found their spirit gone, their cheeses gone bad and a cattle goad where the statue should be, they blamed the Valusi for their woes. Thus began the Great Cheese War. (4)
(1) A Cheese War? 'But, of course!' I said. In fact, it's my belief
now that there have been a number of 'wars' or 'heroic thefts' regarding
cheese-making over the years.
(2) Ilsandor is, of course, a trickster and he violated the village
guestright by playing a joke upon his host. Since guestright is one of
the few things that protects a trickster from outright harm, the loss of
such is very dangerous for such individuals.
(3) As elsewhere, dealing with dwarfs is rarely considered a good or
profitable way of doing business.
(4) This theft of a cheese secret gave rise to a decades-long blood feud
between the Valusi and Polan clans, ultimately resulting in the Valusi
clans flight from their mountain homes.
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