MOB:
>>Here's my response to the Onslaught Saga, which is taking on the guise of
>>a communally-written novel...
Martin:
>Which I rather liked actually with one exception:
>"She was a Healer woman - so what? Onslaught had killed them before;
>it was usually cheap, quick and easy. This one had the temerity to
>tell him, Onslaught, that pissing on that stand of narl flowers she
>was gathering fouled their use as healing agents. Of course it
>did!"
>Wrong. He is a Humakti Sword and would never hurt a healer of Chalana
>Arroy.
Does this necessarily follow? Certain Humakti are known to piously kill Healers (Makla Mann hero-cult). And, I didn't see anything in Martin's turgid account of Onslaught's background - that he posted *after* I wrote my story - which even remotely suggests he's got a sweet spot for Healers. If anything, the Big O's history suggests to me that is exactly the sort of thing he'd indulge in, with only the lightest of provocation to set him off.
But if it really upsets you Martin, how's this:
"She was a mere woman - so what? Onslaught had killed them before; it was usually cheap, quick and easy, and did something to quench the fire in his loins, the fire he was forbidden by his god to put out. My how he loved to stab them with his big, big sword! This one had the temerity to tell him, Onslaught, that... "
Of course, now that we've seen Onslaught's stats (did you get excited writing them out Martin?), it's obvious that the Coders singly or together ain't got a hope in hell of taking him out (or for that matter, even scratching him) and it was presumptuous of me to write such a far-fetched tale.
>Holy shit! Are you in need of a serious humour transplant or what?
Nope, which is why I got such a kick out of the 'Hard On' story a few Digests back - now there was a genuine piss-take on the whole mega-thewed hero scene.
>Have you ever heard of parody?
Hang on a bit, one minute you're claiming Onslaught is parody, cheap
and cheerful, not to be taken seriously, the next you're writing about
how you've "thought long and hard about this... little explored area of
Glorantha and wish to explore it", with many paragraphs of sombre
theorising following on after this, eg:
>"...Humakt was a God but Onslaught was a man. How much harder for
>the man is it? IMO its devestating. Humans are naturally gregarious
>and interactive but if you were Onslaught what wold you have? Only
>despair. How to suppress that despair?..etc, etc, etc..."
Martin:
>I find your comparisons to AD&D to be both massively unfair and
>odious in the extreme.
Having waded through Onslaught's stats, which are surely *way* too long, detailed, lovingly described and deadpan serious to be possibly taken as satire...
(just a few highlights)
>STR 26 CON 23 DEX 21... APP 8 [how come I just knew his APP would be 8?]
>
>Butt attack (wah?) 185%
>Bite 160%[!]
>
>He knows 9 languages of Maniria to mastery but talks as if he is
>only 30-40% deliberately to foster the belief that he's stupid.
>
>His iron plate is enchanted and worth 22APs...has a Dwarfen enchantment/
>spell lasting a further 12 years making the armour count fully
>against criticals.
>
>Rune Magic: Shield 22, Extensions 26, Truesword 8, Morale 14,
>Turn Undead 16, Dismiss Magic 18...etc etc etc... and other common Rune
>Magic but I haven't got my rule book with me [mind you, those listed
>already add up to several *hundred* points!]
>
>He usually spell trade a lot too and has about 20-30 points of varying rune
>magics available to increase his tactical flexibilty.
>
>He never sleeps, is immune to fear based attacks...need to pray only
>one hour per rune magic point... gets MP and fiatigue back at
>double speed, distrusts elves, must spurn kindness and weakening emotions...
>
>Combat Tactics: He will cast Bladesharp and Parry 12 Extended
>permanently re-Sandys rules on this (6 Points of extension per
>spell, unable to get them back until spell gone), Shield 10 extended to
>8 hours...etc etc... Strongblade may or may not be cast depending on the
>opposition (!!!!)
...I confidently assert from my first posting, "the character himself seems to me to resemble the blandest sterotype of your 25th, 33rd, (99th?) level Fighter (Lawful Evil of course) rather than a 'real' Gloranthan".
Martin again:
>If you disagree with my point of view, then please say so, as is
>your right but don't brand me before you know who I am or what I mean.
Martin - "AD&D throwback teen terror" - your words, not mine. I merely expressed an opinion that Onslaught and his Big Sword adventures reminded me more of the ADnD(tm) universe than anywhere on the Lozenge we all Know and Love. They still do.
I apologise if I have unnecessarily maligned you. I only have what you post to the Digest to go by, and I'm sorry if I have consistently missed either the rapier subtlety of your wit or the deep, cathartic nuances of your serious exploration of the human condition, whichever it is meant to be.
Cheers
MOB P.S. It would be churlish of me to say that I have now said all I want to say on a subject I feel has occupied way too much space on the Digest over the last week. But, hey, I just said it! But, what would I really like to see come out of this is more of the communal novel approach. Maybe this is a suitably enticing first couple 'o paragraphs?...
"The Demivierge leaned forward in her dining couch as we strutted into the dining chamber, a lascivious leer on her face, which, off the coins, appeared too be more voluptuous, more wanton - and far, far less serene in the flesh. Even her dark eyes, glazen with hazia, bhung or perhaps even plain wine, but large, expressive and ringed with kohl, added to her beauty, though to my father's eyes I'm sure it would have been the beauty of a brazen strumpet, not the mighty ruler of a powerful trading city.
A great sigh of lust - both carnal and gustatory, I feared - went round the banquet chamber as the cooks put us through our paces. How as it it that I, Hermocles of Bagnot, who had come to Rhigos as spy and erstwhile assassin, ended up shaven and oiled, disguised as not a member of the mid-course dance troupe as I first thought, but the next course itself!" ...to be continued??
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