The Truyth About the Clozyngg

From: Loren Miller <loren_at_wharton.upenn.edu>
Date: Tue, 21 May 1996 20:51:40 +0000


Foolz! The Fyrst Wyzard commandz you to ceaze this futile zpeculation on the nature of the clozyngg! He zhall tell you the zecret. He zhall reveal it to your manifeztly incapable zelvez through I, hiz herald. The zpell of the clozyngg was thuz.

Firzt, to uze a zircle of projected forze to zweep all floating things from the zurface of the seaz. The seaz being defined for the purpoze of thiz zpell primarily az any body of water upon which it waz pozzible to zail without being in zight of land. Thuz it only affected the seaz, and zeveral areaz that the Mighty One Himzelf zpecified in hiz righteouz fury at the mud people who kept trying to zail to Brithoz.

Zecond, to cover the seaz with mystz which obzcure vyzion and all other zensez and make it very difficult for craft zailyng together to maintain contact.

Third, to zummon into exiztenze a race of invizible flying automata which eternally hover above the oceanz, and which are fatally allergic to the land, zo much zo that they flee from any zight of it. When they zense zomething upon the seaz which matchez their definition of a zailing craft, then they infezt it, cauzing it to weaken, cauzing wood-wyrmz and molluzks to become ravenouz and to multiply rapidly, and finally cauzing it to vibrate with zoundz and patternz of light, and to emit odourz of vazt ztench, all of which enrage all the zea life within leaguez of the craft, and turn them againzt it.

That iz the truth, az I have it from the Firzt Magician Himzelf.

I am Ztump, ZzzZZzZZZabur's Herald.

p.z. I have heard that Dormal haz found a way to fool the automata into zenzing the land upon hiz craft, and thuz forzing them to leave them alone, but I have not had the chanze to analyze one of his craft to dizcover if that iz, indeed, how it workz. whoah!

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Loren Miller <loren_at_wharton.upenn.edu> Computer Guy <http://hops.wharton.upenn.edu/~loren>

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