Ultrasounds and Uz

From: Bernuetz, Oliver: WPG <Bernuetz.Oliver_at_cbsc.ic.gc.ca>
Date: Thu, 19 Jun 1997 13:44:04 -0400


I can't speak as to the sophistication of the average Dark Troll's dark sense
but I can add my two cents about ultrasounds (having witnessed three of them during my wife's last pregnancy).

The relevant points to keep in mind are:

  1. The woman has to consume ungodly amounts of water beforehand to improve the reception. (And then they make you wait). (You might have to catch the troll right after she's been to the water fountain to see anything).
  2. They remove your clothes to improve reception as well. (Getting kind of familiar with your neighbour's wife aren't you?)
  3. They smear some clear gel on your torso to improve reception.
    (Could spit a lot on the mother I suppose).
  4. The scanner is rubbed right on the torso.
    (Trotsky suggested sticking your snout up against a pregnant troll
    might be a mistake. I'd say this was an understatement.)
  5. The technicians are highly trained. You need to be to interpret what you say.
    (Technician: "Look there's his back and there's his foot. I'd say he
    was a little above average in size." Parents: "Ah...yeah, sure if you say so.")

Now Uz dark sense might be superior to modern technology but I would expect that only a Xiola Umbar healer would be skilled enough to tell a fetus from the trollkin the mother had for lunch.

Oliver D. Bernuetz
bernuetz.oliver_at_cbsc.ic.gc.ca

P.S. Sorry about the penultimate double posting.


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