Since you obviously can't write a message with so little content - not that a lot of messages which have been sent to this list lately have more content than this although they are far much longer(1) - I'll add a little to munch on.
COURIER NILMERGS
A lot of communication between various dwarven strongholds is carried
on through courier nilmergs, or cornils in Gold argot. Though created
by the Tin caste, they are managed by the Gold, who are in charge of
information gathering, organisation and distribution.
Each cornil is primed to one route already in its homunculus vat, by the addition of brains from an older cornil which used that path to the vat melange. If no earlier cornil exists for that path, a 'blank' nilmerg is created, which then is primed to that path by a special nilmerg training team made up by a Tin trainer, a Gold expert on tunnel navigation, a Copper expert on velocipede management and control, and a Silver expert on thought transfer processes. This means the process is rather expensive. Add to that the usual risk when priming any nilmerg: gremlinism.
The cornil may be warped due to mistakes made during its training process, and will then turn into a gremlin hell-bent on achieving on doing exactly the opposite of what it was intended to do: disrupting messages and communication in general. If possible, such gremlins will be caught, and a team of gremlin theorists (Iron, Silver and Tin) will be called in. They will try to fix the gremlin by making it terribly afraid of dwarves and dwarven tunnels, and turn it out into the territories of nearby dwarven enemies to disrupt their communication - they are most famous for reversing road signs, destroying wagon wheels and spooking horses.
Cornils are indistinguishable from average nilmergs except for their extremely muscular legs. Their leg muscles are very powerful already at their homunculus state, and they use them everytime they work, which might be often or rarely depending on their route. Cornils, just like all other nilmergs and the dwarven masters who made them, are workaholics, and when not working or getting necessary sleep, they will train their leg muscles by various workout exercises.
Cornils whose route only passes thorugh dwarven tunnels are equipped with small two-wheeled velocipedes made from copper, the back wheel considerably wider than the former. With this the nilmerg can achieve a hellish speed. Cornils which are velocipede-equipped spend a large part of their spare time polishing and oiling their 'pedes.
The 'pede is equipped with a little whistle of enchanted brass which produces a high-pitched screaming noise. All dwarves knows what this noise means, and stays away from the sides of tunnles when they hear it. Jolanti generally stand stock-still when the wistle is heard - they are rare enough that time has been taken to program them with it, so that they wont incidentally cause cornil crashes. Incidentally, the noise is extremely painful to uzkind, and Iron commanders send 'pede cornils through troll-occupied territory without hesitation. Individualist Iron dwarves have been known to use this effect to actually divert trolls while attacking. Since this is Using Issued Equipment in a Non-Standard Way (horrors!), it will invariably bring down the wrath of the responsible Overseers, especially if it leads to success(2).
Regardless of their equipment, cornils not on duty will chant what seems like nonse rhymes while practicing or keeping their equipment fit. In actuality, this is an aid to remember their exact route and what they will do if any of the Expected Obstacles will appear. While singing, they will exibit great cheer and often start using their bicycles as percussion instruments. Sometimes, filled with pride in his work, the Gold postmaster will join in. Since the cornils only know one song, they know it well. They never cease to love the song, nor their route. Hearing their song every day, the postmaster will after some years be able to walk the route even if deprived of his Earthsense. Or he will Break.
The messages cornils carry is written on Earthstuff paper in suitable caste code and placed in a small gold cylinder marked with the cornil's number and the number of its route. If the route is unsafe, the cylinder may only be opened by a key the responsible postmaster has. Generally, the cylinder is strengthened as well, and in extreme cases a small conditional spell is placed on the cylinder, so that the paper will Ignite if the cylinder is opened by non-standard means.
When the cornil reaches the end of its route, it will leave the message to that route's postmaster. It will then eat, sleep for a couple of hours, and start to wait eagerly for its return journey. The postmaster opens the cylinder, stamps the message, and if the dwarf to which it is adressed is not within communication tube or walking distance, it is given to another cornil for further transport until it reaches it's goal. All routes which connect at one point have their own postmaster.
Especially when the messages are between Golds, who are enamored of writing things instead of saying them, the dwarf who receives the message will write the answer on the same paper. This saves paper, and is thus Efficient - at least until the same message has passed back and forth umpteen times. Other dwarves, where rations are short, will eat the message after reading it, hopefully comitting it to memory carefully before that.
In more well-equipped complexes, messages are transported between cornil stations and workshops by communication tubes. These skillfully made (by Lead dwarves) glass and metal pipes suck messages from one point to another by means of a chained air entity. The entities have no mind to speak of, and if you are careless when sending the message, your finger will be sucked into the tube, and you will probably loose it. Many postmasters have one or several fingers replaced by golden prosthetic fingers as a result, generally equipped with pens, keys, stamps and/or small scissors for cutting Stonestuff paper.
"The Owl and the Pussycat went to sea, in a beautiful pea-green boat..."
>From "The Owl and the Pussycat" by Edward Lear
Erik Sieurin
bv9521_at_bhs.utb.hb.se
Bodagatan 39, 2 tr
50742 Bor=E5s
Sweden
033/141731
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