- ----------------
In time, Orlanth accepted his daughters promotion. Their usual feuds
settled down and a
period of peace was welcomed by all. Vinga worked twice as hard as the
other thanes to prove
her rights. She still thought that she deserved better, though she did
not force the issue.
It was a surprise to everyone when Orlanth got crotchety. Vinga wasn't
the cause and nobody
could discover any other reason for the foul moods.
So Vinga decided to follow her father. She watched him eat. She watched
him sleep. She
watched him fight. The only thing she noticed was that he scratched
himself a lot. The more
he scratched the more irritated he became.
More strangely was that Orlanth started watching Ernalda's sacred
serpent dances. This upset
the warriors who had always performed war dances for their lord.
The final straw was when Orlanth swallowed an entire bull whole before
it had even been
killed. He slept for a week afterwards.
It was then that Vinga noticed something lying on her fathers throne. It
was a scale. Whilst
Orlanth slept the goddess stole a glance into the cauldron of scrying.
The answer came to
her as she watched the tribes upon the world. All of the orlanthi were
being seduced by the
dragonnewts.
What could be done? Vinga thought hard and long. She asked Lankhor Mhy
for scrolls and read
them. She caught Eurmal spying on her whilst she pretended to have a
bath, and discussed the
problem with him. The trickster was so bored by the conversation that he
jokingly suggested
that it wasn't the dragonnewts who were responsible, but the cosmic
dragons themselves.
Maybe it was a punishment for the slaying of Aroka.
Vinga knew that Eurmal had unwittingly discovered the truth. Pausing
only long enough to
borrow her fathers great shield, she left the stead with the trickster
in tow.
They travelled a great distance deeper into infinity than any other god
before them. Eurmal
spent his time trying to tell jokes or see down Vinga's cleavage. All to
no avail. It was
during yet another silly trick that he tripped over a gigantic tail.
Knowing that they had found a true dragon, Vinga realised that slaying
the beast was out of
the question. It was just too big. Instead she would have to talk to it
and discover if
there was a reason for the curse on her father. She spent a day walking
to its head and
tried to wake it up.
She shouted and screamed as if she had been arguing with her father. Nothing happened.
She kicked it in the teeth and struggled to lift an eyelid. Nothing happened.
She even collected all the trees, put them in its nostrils and lit the
branches with her
flaming sword in desperation.
Nothing happened.
Eurmal laughed at her antics, till Vinga punched him and demanded he do
better. So the
trickster gathered his most potent power and cast it at the dragon.
"TTTTHHHHHHRRRRUUUUPPPPP!"
The fart was so loud that universe trembled. All the other cosmic
dragons believed it to be
a clarion call to summon them. The dragon, trees still burning in its
nostrils awoke and
glared at Eurmal.
The trickster stopped laughing. Backing away slowly he started casting a
spell. Vinga was
left standing in front of the angry dragon, who inhaled an entire wind
and spat the burning
air towards them.
Whilst Vinga used her fathers shield to protect against the flames,
Eurmal summoned his
fleet feet and hightailed it out of there. With a roar the dragon
climbed to its feet and
chased after. Not knowing what else she could do, Vinga leapt the storm
leap onto the head
of the enraged being.
A dragon is fast, but there is nothing faster than a fleeing trickster.
Eurmal ran blindly
till he heard Vinga's wind carried words telling him to hide in the
dragonnewts own cities.
His head start availed him nothing though, since the dragon's eyes could
find him across
eternity.
The scared trickster ran down into dragon pass, flames licking at his
bottom. He hid under
the first city he found. But the other dragons who'd heard the mightiest
fart had come to
join in the hunt. With a single bite they swallowed the city, its farms
and the hill it
stood upon.
Vinga still clung desperately to the horns of the dragon she rode. From
atop her mount she
could see everything the dragon could. So using the secret wind words
she told Eurmal to
hide in the cities in which she knew the traitorous, dragon worshipping
orlanthi lived.
Each place Eurmal hid in was attacked by a dragon. Each time the
trickster managed to escape
death by the skin of his teeth. Soon, the whole of dragon pass had been
consumed and there
was nowhere left to hide. Eurmal having nothing to lose, placed his
thumb in his mouth and
blew hard. He grew large, larger. He strained so much that he gave
himself a hernia, but
still he grew. When he'd reached the size of a mountain he changed into
a dragon and tried
to loose himself in the flight above the pass.
It was a valiant effort, but whereas all the dragons were of but a
single colour, Eurmal was
of every colour. The dragon Vinga rode extended a single claw and
punctured the trickster's
stomach. With the noise of the second greatest fart ever, Eurmal flew
around, bouncing off
of the hills and wailing.
The dragon then landed and carefully plucked Vinga from her perch. With
what she could have
sworn was a wink, the dragon flew back into infinity leading its
brothers away. The goddess
found the battered Eurmal lying in a river. She picked him up and
together they returned to
Orlanth's stead.
Orlanth was waiting for them sitting in his throne. In a ring around his
seat lay a pile of
dragon skin which he had shed, though Vinga noticed that his little
finger was still scaled.
"Well daughter what will you ask for today? My stead?" The god thumped
the arm of the throne
and spittle flew from his mouth. "You have caused the deaths of
thousands of my people. I
should have you beheaded for this outrage." He scowled, waiting for her
to submit to his
authority.
Vinga stood proud with a fixed smile. "Father, you told me that although
I had skill and
cunning, I lacked bravery. I have now proved my bravery. Those who died
were those who had
turned from your true worship. They deserved to die for trying to change
your very nature.
Your other thanes will support me, for they saw the doom of your scales.
I claim a boon for
your rescue."
Orlanth furious, looked to his thanes. They all bowed their faces, and
would not meet his
angry gaze. He submitted to their judgement and said "You have proved
yourself Vinga. You
may join my Einheriar."
"But I do not want to," came the reply. "I have saved you and your
people three times now. I
demand to be your shield bearer."
"No!" bellowed Orlanth. "Humakt is my champion and I will have no other
at my side."
"If you would rather have an ex-brother who turned his back on you
rather than your own kin
I shall not stay in your stead. I deserve better and you have taken my
glory from me because
I am merely a woman. You will need me again sometime, and I shall never
help you again. Not
until you get on your knees, beg for my aid and swear that women shall
be given equal
rights."
With that Vinga spat between them and left the stead. She took her
flaming sword, her fine
linked chain shirt, and Humath's horse which could gallop on the wind. A
parting gift from
the sad grandfather. She never looked back as she rode towards the sun,
even when the
unusually large crow settled upon her helm...
Vinga Saves the World
- ---------------------
Orlanth paced his great hall in anxiety. The six winds had returned from
their search and
had still not found his daughter. The last anyone had seen of her was
Zola Fel, who swore
that she was headed out towards Magesta's whirlpool. The king of the
gods didn't like the
thought of his offspring riding into hell to escape him.
On top of that Eurmal had disappeared. It was bad when the trickster was
in the stead, but a
trickster out of sight meant something nasty was just round the next
corner. Anxiety filled
his bronze bones.
And if that wasn't enough, there was some new godlet born in Dara Happa.
Didn't the
sorcerers up there learn anything? A new goddess meant the compromise
would crack once more.
As if he didn't have enough problems with chaos. He would have to keep
an eye on the
problem.
Time passed
Years flew by and the thrice damned Red Goddess had tricked her way into
acceptance by the
other gods of the compromise. Orlanth had thought that this would make
her easier to
contain, but she'd expanded her empire and created a new moon which
floated in his realm
like an angry drop of blood.
Time passed
With each new year the cancerous growth the Lunar Empire spread further
south. Orlanth spent
all his time trying to encourage his people to band together to slow the
approach. All he
tried came to nothing. Orlanth's people were like Orlanth himself. They
bickered and fought
whilst the evil red glow took over his lands. The red moon rose ever
higher, and he could
see the masked goddess staring at him from her palace.
Time passed
Sartar fallen! The cream of his worshippers. Orlanth groaned in shame.
Why had everything
fallen apart? Maybe it wouldn't have happened if Vinga had been here.
No! His daughter had
probably caused all of this. If I cannot beat the red moon by myself
then I do not deserve
to be king of the gods thought Orlanth glumly.
All that was left were the fringe peoples outside Sartar and the earth
allies given by his
wife. Each day he gathered storm clouds to hide the movements of his
last heroes from the
Red Goddesses masked eyes. He hadn't lost yet. With cunning he organised
the slow building
of his last army. It would be do or die.
Time passed
The Red Goddess sat calmly on the red bat at the north of dragon pass.
Orlanth Storm King
fidgeted in his throne upon the southern mountains of the pass. Her gaze
bored through to
his soul, distracting him whilst the battles raged below.
Like a giant game board, entire armies marched back and forth. The
heroes Orlanth had
scraped together fought against elite units of lunar infantry. Harrek,
Androgenous and
Agarath destroyed anything they attacked. The Red Goddess had heroes
too. Jar Eel scattered
the Wind Walkers. Beatpot chopped up the head hunters. And the Crater
Makers were destroying
whole units with huge lumps of moon rock. If both sides had numbered
equally then Orlanth
might have stood a chance. But now the crimson tide was sweeping him out
of Sartar. Soon he
would lose the battle for the middle air and would be wiped out from the
memories of his
people.
As the red moon turned casting its sickly glow, the king of the storm
gods noticed something
in the pass below. The dragon tooth runners had left the battle, opening
a huge hole in his
strategy. Orlanth cursed the scaly warriors as they marched to the
Dragons Eye. The Red
Goddess smiled at him as she took advantage of the situation. A rabble
of chaotic broo
charged straight through the gap and started to roll up the Orlanthi
line.
The storm king watched in despair as his dire enemy leant forwards atop
the bat. Orlanth
sent word for all the women and children to be saved. Word returned from
his priests that
the women had all disappeared a week before. It was then Orlanth
remembered Vinga's promise.
"The cunning vixen has set up a plan," he thought miserably. "She's just
waiting for me to
beg and then she'll march out of hiding with all the women and rescue
me. Oh the shame. But
what choice do I have?"
So Orlanth climbed from his throne and went down to his knees. As he
bent his head to beg
for Vinga's aid he saw the dragon tooth runners again. They were dancing
in a strange
pattern. As they danced he felt his serpent touched little finger twitch
in sympathy. The
throb of their beat pulsed in his blood, and a new understanding
blossomed. He surged to his
feet shouting defiance as the Red Goddess flew towards him.
Orlanth took his sword and smite off his little finger. He then cast the
sacrifice into the
pass making a mighty magic. The finger grew into a true dragon. At the
dragons eye, all the
newts hissed in honour as their inhuman king simultaneously also
achieved true draconian
form.
The two dragons flew upwards to the glowing moon and tore into it with
claws a mile long.
>From the moon came an awful screech, and it started jumping around as if
in pain. It then
flew down from the sky and hid behind Orlanth.
"Don't let them hurt me Orlanth. I didn't want to do it, she made me do
it..."
The god of storms watched in amazement as the illusion dropped. There
stood Eurmal. Trews
around his ankles and one buttock painted red, the other black and both
heavily scratched.
The departing dragons who'd always been able to see through the glamour
smiled toothily to
themselves, pleased at the final punishment of the trickster.
Orlanth's brain laboriously worked through the meanings of Eurmal's
involvement and looked
down into the pass. As the tricksters magic slowly faded the once
resplendent lunar
regiments turned back into gabbles of Orlanthi women armed with cudgels.
The chaotic broo
which had given his armies such a scare were simply the children from
their steads with
vegetables tied to their bodies to make them look misshapen. The men
he'd thought dead lay
groaning on the ground with sore heads. With a growing fury Orlanth
faced the goddess.
The crimson bat was now Humath's horse. Its head covered with painted
pigs bladders and
ropes dangling from its bridle. Vinga took off the now useless mask, and
stamped on the
mountain top in frustration. "I would have gotten away with it if it
wasn't for those damn
dragons..."
Orlanth reached for his daughter to kill her for once and for all. Then
he stopped and all
the colour drained from his face. Looking sick, he turned back towards
the trickster.
"Eurmal," he whispered. "What were the Crater Makers summoning?"
Epilogue
- --------
Vinga sighed. Life had become so dull after her father had finally
calmed down. He had
granted her the position of shield barer and placed his blessing on
women being free to
choose their own course in life. She was sure that he'd only done it to
keep a closer eye on
her. His bloody shield was heavier too after he'd asked Keigor Litor to
bound it in lead.
Though the job was tedious, all the women now accepted her for they'd
enjoyed the trick
played on their husbands. The men respected her, although some still
glowered behind her
back.
Lankhor Mhy was very upset and would not speak to Vinga at all, for
Orlanth had demanded
that every single record of the entire incident should be destroyed.
Scrolls in the
thousands were burnt by the mortal Orlanthi priests. The sages had to
take oaths to never
speak of it again. Nope, Lankhor Mhy was somebody she'd better keep an
eye on in the future.
Eurmal had not escaped Orlanth's justice either. He'd declared that
Eurmal's bottom had made
such a fine moon, that Eurmal had to remain in the sky, mooning at
everyone. Though Orlanth
had him wash his buttocks before he started.
Bored, bored, bored!
A large crow landed on her shoulder. "Pssst Vinga," it squawked. "Whilst
I was floating in
the sky I noticed a terrible chaos monster crawling over the eastern
edge of the world. I
don't suppose you'd want to come on a quick quest do you?"
When Orlanth awoke, all he found was his shield next to the bed...
I hope you enjoyed it. I had the initial idea some 18 months ago. But I decided to wait until I could write it up and post it on this most relevant day. The story grew out of control and took a life of its own. I should have refined it, but as the gods would have it I ran out of time.
Now to actually write something serious...
Pete
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