: The seventh member of their group was known only as She Who : Waits (SWW). In history SWW is sometimes mentioned as a Priestess of : the Blue Moon, this is apocryphal, or possibly spread about to confuse : her true identity by Jalakeel, who knew the secretive nature of the : Blue Moon cult. Amongst other things, the group that became known as : the Seven Mothers did evoke the powers of the Blue Moon, but SWW was : an invocation of their group energy, linked to the powers of Arachne : Solara, perhaps similar to Ginna Jar's relations with the Lightbrin- : gers' Quest.
What does any of this have to do with Queen Deezola?
: Yanafal Tarnils organised the Quest to begin at a temple in the : Dara Happan town of Torang, which his forces held.
Torang not Dara Happan. (Nor even Carmanian). Seven Mothers' Quest not begun in a temple. Debatable whether Yanafal Tarnils had any "forces" at this stage in his career; unlikely according to me (and I should know). Otherwise, sound.
: The Goddess herself fed on the Mothers' emotions of arrogance, : honour, innocence, truth, pride, anguish, and more. From this grew : her power and ambition, and this led inevitably to war.
Is this *really* what you think the Deezola Cult believes?
Or is it just what Ian believes, placed inappropriately in a Lunar cult writeup for lack of an alternative outlet?
And what about the Chorus of Animals, not to mention the Sorcerers' Assault and manifestation of the Young Elementals? The latter -- "Carmanians tried to kill the Goddess just after her birth" -- is a more plausible casus belli than "her power and ambition led inevitably to war". Did Queen Deezola not possess power and ambition? Was she not therefore a warmonger?
> The Seven Mothers is Lunar-religion-lite for the barbarians and
> provincials.
I suspect this was written by cut'n'paste, not for a cult writeup.
> All Seven Mothers cultists in Prax are under the command of Governor
> Sor-Eel in matters of security,
Completely meaningless and irrelevant.
> The cult of Yanafal Tarnils controls the Red Army... due to the
> plans of the Red Goddess
This may be interesting as an essay on the Seven Mothers (or, for example, in the essay on Lunar Government in Tales #16 which it is largely cribbed from). It is not particularly useful in a writeup of just one of their member cults. Miscellaneous note or separate essay, not "The Deezola Cult's Ecology" (and, BTW, you seem to be putting many mundane trappings, more suited to "The Cult in the World", into "Cult Ecology").
Speaking of which, if you want to focus on Prax for campaign reasons (the only reason I can think of to mention that "Seven Mothers cultists in Prax are subject to the orders of the Governor of Prax"), why not mention the Deezolan Spa at Moonbroth Oasis, cf. Tales #15?
> It has been rumored that the Priesthood of Deezola are part of a
> pacifist conspiracy based around either the White Moon, or worship
> of Arachne Solara, however neither Investigations nor Divinations
> have ever uncovered any evidence of this.
Unproven rumours are Miscellaneous Notes, not part of the Cult Ecology.
> Misguidedly, she hoped that, after the initial forcing back of the
> invaders, the Red Goddess would stand as a leader for peace and
> fair arbitration. However, the motivations of the other Mothers
> brought a lust for power into the equation.
I disagree greatly with this interpretation of Deezola's outlook. How many cult writeups note that their founder's entire life and works were misguided?
> The cult members are taught proficiency in only shield and one weapon,
> although some disdain this in favour of defensive training only.
Why does the cult provide any weapons training whatsoever to its members? This is easily obtained from e.g. the associated and allied cult of Yanafal Tarnils, one of the Seven Mothers. Do you propose that there are exclusively-Deezolan weaponmasters teaching weapon skills at the Deezola Temple? Surely it is more credible that those Deezolans who wish to learn weapon skills attend training sessions at the Yanafali Temple from the weaponmasters of Yanafal's cult.
> Poetry (there ARE non-Deezola Poets)
An absolutely bizarre annotation!
> One must be eligible in background (if not in skill level) to join
> the Lunar Army, in order to be admitted to the cult of Deezola. This
> does not mean they are members of the army
What the heck does it mean? Are you saying, "Only pure-blooded Lunar citizens over 5'10" tall can join the Army or the cult of Deezola" (or some such formula)? If so, leave out the Army altogether and say, "Only pure-blooded Lunar citizens over 5'10" tall can join the cult of Deezola".
> Lunar Laws - after initial training this skill starts at INT+3D4
A perverse choice: why not treat it as a normal zero-base knowledge skill? (And why not use the legal skills found in the Red Emperor Cult writeup in Tales #16, rather than invent new ones!)
> The Second Cult Gift
> The Initiate gains +10% in their weapon of choice, and will commonly
> only ever carry a large weapon of this type...
Utterly bizarre. What the heck do you think this cult is for??
What on earth are these Rune Lords *for*???
Do all Rune Priests in Ian's game need 90% in many mainstream skills, or is the cult of Deezola being unusually penalised for some reason? (Wow!!! "All Rune Priests must first have been Rune Lords for several years..." What on earth is going on here?!)
Lots of impractical "HeroQuesty" special magic (though not specified, "Call She Who Waits" and "Group Avatar" look like Summoning Ritual spells to me); "Inspire Followers appears less appropriate than frex a reworked "City Harmony" might be; utterly bizarre lack of healing magic, other than the selfish Pre-Healing.
Apart from that, nice try!
Nick
:::: web: <http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/Nick_Brooke>
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