Daniel Fahey: <<I found this pretty neat. It was in some parts a bit long,>>
Well, thats you get when you try to do six HeroQuests in one evening.
<< but pretty funny if you could pay attention between all the silliness going on all around from other people and the excitement of being there with so many friends again. Trotsky's part was really funny. I wish I could write it down here but can't describe it well enuf. Someone else please try. >>
Well, I can remember the script for the God Forgot bit, but I certainly couldn't remember the other five in enough detail to do the whole thing, although they were all good! Perhaps those involved would care to try? Anyway here's God Forgot - it was a cooperative effort, and I apologise for not remembering the names of all those involved in writing/performing it, although I will mention Jarec Basham (Leonardo) and Kevin Jacklin (coordinating the thing).
Note: This should be done with the absolute minimum of movement, to contrast with the other HQs. Sir Kit remains almost motionless and expressionless throughout.
I - Commencing the Quest
Sir Kit Breaker: 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10-11-12-13-14-15-16 MB RAM OK
(opens eyes) Oh dear, it is very dark in here. The lighting system in the
Machine City must have failed and will have to be reinitialised. I cannot do
this on my own. Activate Emergency Holographic Spirit Guide designated
'Leonardo'.
Leonardo: Please state the nature of the magical emergency.
SKB: The lighting has failed. Please reinitialise.
II - Introducing the Gods
L: Please wait sir. (Pause) You are correct: it is dark. I will have to diagnose the source of the problem by activating each maintenance subsystem in turn. Activate air-conditioning subsystem 'Orlanth'. Orlanth: (sharp intake of breath and shake of head) Ooh, you've got a problem here guv'nor. It's going to be a tricky job to fix this. L: We need more power [gets audience to participate in imitation of Orlanth. This is repeated for each subsystem - I'll omit this to save space].
No, its not working. Activate catering subystem 'Ernalda'.
Ernalda: How about a nice cup of tea before starting work. I always find that
helps (hands Sir Kit a cup of tea)
L: Still not enough. Activate waste disposal subsystem 'Kyger Litor'.
Kyger Litor: What's wrong with the dark? What do you want the lights back on
for? Look at all this mess in here. We're going to have to get rid of that for
a start. (Does impression of flushing toilet).
L: That does not appear to have been a good idea: we now have a sewer
blockage. Activate plumbing subsystem 'Magasta'.
Magasta: You've had Kyger Litor in here haven't you? I'm going to need my
extra large plunger (mimes using toilet plunger).
L: That has cleared the waste blockage. We must now proceed to the heart of
the problem. Activate lighting subsystem 'Yelm'.
Yelm: Error. Error. Unable to initialise. Resorting to emergency backup
lighting system 'Yelmalio'.
L: We must perform the special chant to assist activation of the emergency
lighting system.
(Everyone sings 'Shift-Reboot to Start' to the tune of 'Happy Birthday')
III - Combating the Other Elements
L: We have now have some lighting. However, full service has not been
restored. More drastic action is called for to combat the virus infecting the
system. What do you recommend sir?
SKB: Activate offensive subsystem designated 'Orlanth'.
Orlanth: You have full air superiority. Bombs launched.
L: That has not resolved the problem.
SKB: Activate offensive subsystem designated 'Magasta'.
Magasta: Marines ready to fight the enemy, Sir!
L: That is still not sufficient.
SKB: Activate offensive subsystem designated 'Ernalda'.
Ernalda: There's always another way, sir, that's what we say. Would everyone
like to calm down and have a nice cup of tea?
L: That does not appear appropriate.
SKB: Activate offensive subsystem designated 'Kyger Litor'.
Kyger Litor: Chemical and bacteriological warheads deployed.
L: The lighting system has still not been activated. We require more power.
SKB: Authorise deployment of ultimate deterrent. Activate offensive subsystem
designated 'Yelm'.
Yelm: 100 megaton nuclear warhead deployed. Let there be light!
L: Damage report: there have been 6 million casualties and 30% of the Holy
Country has been reduced to lava and blasted into the sea. On the plus side,
we have got the lights to work.
SKB: That is satisfactory.
IV - The Ultimate Secret of Glorantha
L: HeroQuest Over. Congratulations. You have scored an all time high score of 3,200,000. Your prize is the Secret of the God Learners: "it's just a game". SKB: (to audience) Get a life!
Forward the glorious Red Army!
Trotsky
End of The Glorantha Digest V6 #65
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