We were supposed to present four scenes: 1) the Champion awakes in a magical version of your homeland (desribed, demonstrated). He is met by his Spirit Guide, who introduces him to the Gods of your people.
2) The Gods re-enact the quest they did in the Greater Darkness 3) The Champion undertakes the same quest against contemporary opponents 4) The Champion meets the Elder Power of Esrolia, and is told the Great Secret.
So the first thing we did was look at these rules, decide that they were written by a man, and tear them up.
Scene 1: the choosing of the Champion.
We explain that Esrolia is a land of crops. The cast, then the audience, have fun
being grain waving in the breeze. The cast then fall over as a crop circle, just to
show how Magically Significant this all is.
The men then line up and are invited to give reasons why they should be champion. (Sorry, I forget what these were). The final chap says nothing, just unrolls - well, actually, an inflatable sword intended for Trollball. The Ladies gasp in awe and acclaim him as the Champion!
Scene 2: the rest of the men prepare to give their support to the Champion. They sing "Stayin' Alive", with appropriate jumping around. After a bit of this, their "dancing" leaves them with their backs to the audience and facing the women who are lined up behind them. Imaginary knives are wielded, the singing becomes much higher-pitched, and bananas and oranges are thrown into the audience.
The new eunuchs now take turns to give their power to the Champion: by inflating the sword. (Storm cultists may like the idea that air = power. I did.) I expect this looked seriously obscene, but we were laughing too hard to care.
Scene 3: a representative from each team is required to prove himself to Ernalda,
behind a screen of women and eunuchs. Each in turn is dismissed disdainfully.
Again, I don't remember all the lines. (Kate Barton might, since she was the one
saying them).
Finally the Earth champion, with his mighty weapon, meets Ernalda, and she
proclaims that the earth did indeed move for her. She emerges from behind the
screen, and gives birth to Yelm. (A large yellow handbag with the word "soleil"
written on the side.)
I think it was at this point that the guys got to sing "U.N.I.X.". Or it might have been earlier. Nothing to do with the plot, anyway.
Scene 4:
It is pointed out by the Spirit Guide that, wonderful though this victory is, the Power
demonstrated is shortlived. (The Chief Eunuch proves this by letting air out of the
Sword). What we need is something that lasts longer: and the Elder Power hops out:
the Energiser Bunny. Who, as we know, goes on, and on, and on.... I don't need to
remind you what bunnies are famous for, do I? She presents the Champion with the
Secret of Esrolia: batteries. These are applied to the Sword, which, well, starts
vibrating.....
There aren't any kids reading this, are there?
Now, can anyone come up with the lyrics for the Heortlander song? From what I remember, that needs introducing to the Singalong.
Jane Williams jane_at_williams.nildram.co.uk http://homepages.nildram.co.uk/~janewill/gloranth/
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