Lord Quackenbush

From: Mittmann, Mike <Mike_Mittmann_at_affymetrix.com>
Date: Mon, 28 Sep 1998 15:17:43 -0700

	Steve writes:

>And another:
>Quackenbush, /Duck Lord of Death/ is <feared by all> for his
[flaming
>breath], [glance of death], [vorpal razor flipper move] and
[instant multi
>teleport] abilities. The fact that he is [wealthier than Bill
Gates] makes
>him [welcome in anyplace] and liable to be elected [lord Duck
of
>everything]by \everyone he meets\. He can [cast any spell
known] and is
>adept at [succeeding at impossible tasks]. He is [immortal]
and
>[omniscient]- he [knows the Godlearner secret]- and intends to
(challenge
>Orlanth for the Middle Air).
>
>Geez - that's only 85 words. Methinks there's some potential
for abuse here.
>
>(...). I hope this really *isn't* possible? But what are the
>guidelines here? I mean, how do you adjudicate that "Close
combat" is fair
>but "Adept with all weapons" isn't - or is it? What about
"Master of every >weapon"? How does the system address this?

Actually this isn't really a problem. Because when we write up the character, he gets:
flaming breath: 6/14
glance of death: 6/14
feared by all 8/12
(etc.)
So I have him fight:
Little Joey, a /cute 10 month old/, is [loved by all] for his [adorable cooing],
in spite of the fact that when upset he can [clear a room by crying]. His \4 year old brother\
is really impressed by his [projectile vomiting], and once got a nosebleed when Joey
[stuck his fingers up his nose]. He can [crawl pretty quickly], and his mom says he is [quite strong].
He has [never been affected by magic], and [learns very quickly]. His long term goal is
to (take off his diaper).
so:
Projectile vomit: 6/14
stick fingers up someone else's nose: 6/14 crawls pretty quickly: 8/12
quite strong: 8/12
- -...
Do you want to fight? Strictly by the rules it is an even match. Although little Joey
would beat Quackenbush in an arm wrestling match, as Quackenbush has no applicable
skill.

This all comes down to the fact that the GM should look at the character sheet, and
say "to do this description justice, we would need to give you three additional mastery levels,
which I won't do, so you have a glance of death, but it isn't any more deadly that Hyurt's
[broadsword], or Jim's [flicked toothpick]".

On the other hand I don't look forward to arguing with my players about what their [creative] and [insightful] skills can and can't be applied to.

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