Cian Dorr objects to using magic to influence thoughts of others,
with the model that you wake up one morning and suddenly discover
that you no longer hate the greydog clan.
I would argue that the magic is more subtle than that. Rather than
a brute force changing of minds of your enemies, what it does is several
things:
- Makes you more sensitive to what they say, so you understand their
concerns
- Makes you a better communicator, so that they can understand yours.
- Has you "accidentally" run into each other several times in
places where it would be unwise/taboo to fail to act politely to each other
- Makes you notice (or creates) problems that you have in common.
- Bullies your ancestors into believing that ending the feud would be
good.
- -..
Now I haven't done the HQ in KoDP, so I don't know what it looks like
from there, but Issaries is the talking god, not the mind-stealing god,
so I suspect that his magic looks very non-magical in a time where
we are well exposed to mediation techniques, but is absolutely astounding in
a place where feuds typically run for generations.