We know from KoS that Orlanthi clans are patrilineal. This means that only agnatic relationships are considered when determining the membership of the clan (while bilateral relationships and affines might be important to you personally, legally the clan is defined by its patrilineal descent groups).
So if we accept this definition one answer to the problem of the membership of women before or after marriage is to suggest that they are outside the legal definition of the clan, because they do not figure in its patrileneal descent group. If the clan is a net then the men are the lines that are notted together to form its whole, the women are the spaces, the net cannot exist without them, but they are not part of its structure.
This paradox is probably not something the Orlanthi think about too hard however. For when considering a women and to whom she owes loyalty, where her honour lies they wold probably look at her most significant male relative (brother/father for unmarried/divorced, husband for married, eldest son for divorced/widowed mother, sisters eldest son for spinster with no surviving father/brothers etc).
This fits with the Icelandic analogue. From BloodTaking and Peacemaking by William Ian Miller:
"Several juridicial disablements also attended the female sex. In matters of inheritance a woman was postponed to males in the same degree of kinship from the decendant. She was not eligible for Thing participation, and if she headed a household, which it seems, was not unusual, the laws prescribed five men who could represent the household on a panel of neigbours: her husband, son, stepson, her daughter's husband, and her fosterson. The legal affairs of a woman were to be conducted by her lograthandi, or legal guardian. If she was unmarried or widowed the lograthandi was usually her fastnadi, the person empowered to give her in marriage and whose agreement was necessary for a valid marriage"
If we assume mebership based on a significant male then if you asked an Orlanthi "to what clan does that woman belong", he might reply "She is Bjorn of the Squat Oak clan's wife" or "she is the daughter of Hrothgar of the Greenvalley clan". In short I am sidestepping the question of what clan a woman joins on marriage by suggesting that the clan membership of a woman is not of legal significance in Orlanthi culture (though it may be of personal significance to the woman and her kin).
Do women get to vote at the wapentake in Orlanthi society. Well it seems more equal than Icelandic culture so I would say the answer is yes, but that the wapentake they belong too is determined by their husband, brother, son etc.
of course even though only agnatic relationships are recognised in practical terms, bilateral relationships and affines will have an impact on everyday lives.
Thoughts?
Ian
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