I don't find this especially odd. Heortlings have a fair ole degree of gender role dimorphism, and this clearly carries through into their "treatment" of homosexuality. One partner adopts a 'male role', and the other adopts the 'female role'. Obviously, if either is going to be bearing children, it'll be the 'female role' that does it. But that's Nandan's 'great magic', whereas just adopting a 'Nandani lifestyle' (i.e. a passive homosexual one, to put it in pseudoclinical terms) is his 'lesser magic', implying to me that the vast majority of Nandan men do the latter with doing the former.
I agree with you somewhat about Heler, though. He has strong homosexual connotations about him, but he's not especially associated with the 'passive' role. A Heler worshipper would by stereotype more likely be a active/male-role bisexual or homosexual. The dimorphism may be in many cases somewhat fictitious, but as a cultural pattern it would seem to fit Norse attitudes, most noteably. (Calling someone a Nandanite might not be a mortal insult as such in broad cultural terms, but if their chosen role is a strongly male path one (like almost any given Orlanth aspect) it would be an 'identification challenge', all right...)
Cheers,
Alex.
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