A Good End in Badside part II

From: bernuetz.oliver_at_...
Date: Wed, 31 Jul 2002 15:19:31 -0400

So that's how I came to take up as near a permanent residency at Gimpy's as I prefer to keep. An informer has to have an fixed address people can come looking for him. But it's also nice to have another hideyhole somewhere else for when people you don't care to see come calling too. Like in-laws, creditors and the authorities. Unfortunately that morning I was sound asleep in my room at Gimpy's. I was dreaming about a beautiful and incredibly limber woman of scant morals I'd known back in Glamour, the best kind, when I awoke to the sound of footsteps on the stairs. Now Gimpy's prides itself on its creaky staircases, perfect for its guests to help them avoid mortal enemies and debt collectors alike. These footsteps made no attempt to be stealthy so I figured I didn't have to make a bolt for it. More the fool me. Then I realized that I could hear footsteps coming up both sets of stairs and that it sounded like the stair climbers were wearing hobnailed sandals. That could only mean one thing, Lunar soldiers. I cursed myself for my sloth and tried to burrow my way down through my covers and out the bottom of my bed. All the while praying to every deity and spirit I could recall that they weren't looking for me. No such luck. I heard them stop outside my door and a voice shared by every dog soldier the Empire has said, "That's the one."

Someone knocked on the door politely enough for goons and called out,
"Treibonus, you in there?" I decided to play dead and hope they went away.
Again, no such luck, after an amazingly long pause an authoritative drill sergeant sort of voice ordered, "Kick it in." Which someone quickly and eagerly did. Damn, I was the one who was going to have to pay for that. I was resigning myself to the inevitable beating when someone yanked the covers out of my hand. I blinked at the sudden light coming from an oil lamp held by a trooper and stared in what I hoped was a groggy manner at them. "Who's that I asked?" shading my eyes and squinting up at them. Blast, not just Lunar soldiers but Marble Phalanx goons. Who sends them to fetch informers? "Don't you boys have Praxians or trolls to kill or something more important to do rather than bothering me?"

"Ah, the famous Treibonus wit," answered the decurion, he of the drill
sergeant voice, "If I didn't have orders to the contrary I'd let the boys practise their close order drill on your face." I looked at the seven of them crammed in my tiny room and realized they'd enjoy that far too much. Since it seemed that I was going to skip my morning beating I decided it was better for my lady friends' eyes if I choose to co-operate instead. "Can I strap my leg on first?" I asked. The decurion shrugged, "Why not we'd rather you walked than having to drag you. It's too early in the morning for dragging slackers." He stretched and yawned. They stood around and waited for me to strap my leg on and put a clean tunic on over my admittedly less than pristine body. We then left the room in formation, old habits die hard, and marched down the hallway. The decurion stopped and in his best parade ground bellow told the eavesdroppers and spies behind their doors that they'd better forget all about the army's visit. Bloody army, that'd guarantee the news would be heard by my saintly widowed mother in Glamour by noon.

"So where are we going," I asked not really wanting to know the answer. The
decurion just smirked and hustled us along smartly. I got a sinking feeling as I recognized the route and started to get quite nicely depressed when I recognized the governor's place. I was actively praying for the ground to swallow me as my worst fears were confirmed and we turned to go into the governor's place.

Oliver