A Good End in Badside - Part XXIII

From: Oliver D. Bernuetz <bernuetz.oliver_at_...>
Date: Fri, 20 Sep 2002 18:47:08 -0000


Well that was certainly something you didn't see every day. The Lunar soldiers seemed quite perturbed, poor babies. They had a brief argument about whether they should pursue into the Rubble but wisely decided not to bother. By the time they had got through a gate the sprout and nutter would have been long gone. One of the Pavis priests or should I say priestesses came out to see what all the fuss was about. For some reason I don't really know or care about that much all the leaders of the Pavis cult are called Daughters whether they're female or not. As far as I'm concerned they even dress like women, in long flowing robes with a high head dress. Of course Shargashi dress like women too, well they do wear long kilt like things like skirts anyway, and they're the scariest bastards I've ever seen.

This Daughter who would have made the ugliest female I'd ever seen quickly got into a shouting match with the decurion in charge of the Lunar soldiers about Temple security or lack thereof. The decurion's point was that the Temple should have prevented this "attack" over the Wall and the Daughter's argument was that all the defenses were concentrated inside where they belonged. They each had a point I suppose but their helmet or headdresses covered them well, har dee har har. I debated briefly internally about going over and finding out why the army was getting involved in crowd control in the first place when I decided I really didn't care that much.

Since I could have seen my house from here, well I if I'd been up on the Temple I could have, I decided to head home for a rest. I'd really had had enough of this whole business for the time being so I thought I might drown my sorrows in drink. The soldiers tried to give me a hard time as a suspected malcontent and collaborator with party or parties unknown with the intent to forment revolt against the rightful Lunar administration, etc., etc. but I just waved my writ from Sor-Eel in their faces and headed for that much needed drink. I headed past the few buildings between the Temple and Gimpy's. I was anticipating that drink so much that I forgot to pay enough attention to my surroundings. I had just started down the passageway to Gimpy's when party or parties unknown dropped a sack smelling strongly of fish over my head while someone or someones grabbed me by both arms.

Now there are really two ways to respond to having a sack dropped over your head. You have to assume that you're being abducted since a surprise party is rather unlikely. Now the first approach is that you can be the heroic type and go for your weapons or try using magic or some other otherworldly ability. Personally I've heard of plenty of dead heroes and while Jar-Eel the Razoress could have laughed, left the sack on her head and gone into a berserk killing spree to finish off her abductors, or worse quietly, efficiently and effortlessly killed them all without breaking a sweat, again without removing the sack, I had to go with the second approach. Which was to go along with them.

I have to admit that this is my own personal take on the second response. The classic second response is to scream bloody murder hoping someone can help you. In my experience, and I do speak from experience, unfortunately, there is no one close enough to help you and all you'll get for your troubles is a clout upside the head. Which if you're lucky will just knock you out. If you're unlucky you end up like my poor cousin Platonius back on the farm who got kicked in the head by a mule as a toddler and never got past the diaper stage.

I had to admire the gall of these guys though committing an abduction with Lunar soldiers within earshot. They seemed to be seasoned pros thankfully. I hate amateurs, they kill far too many people, usually through inexperience or stupidity. They'd have bonked me on the head because "that's what you do when you're kidnapping someone." Stupid gits. Then someone said in the Pavic of a native speaker, "We don't want to hurt you. Don't scream and you'll live to see another day." I shrugged and bowed from under my sack, hard to do with two guys holding your arms and said, "I am at your complete disposal of course." I heard a grunt of approval, professionals appreciate other professionals, and found myself suddenly and unceremoniously upended and airborne. I came down head first into a large wicker basket that just reeked of fish.

To be continued.

Oliver

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