A Good End in Badside Part XXX

From: Oliver D. Bernuetz <bernuetz.oliver_at_...>
Date: Sat, 02 Nov 2002 17:55:25 -0000


It was bloody hot at the funeral. If you believed those scimitar and seduction stories that are so popular back in Glamour it should have been raining. You know the ones I mean, they don't so much as border on the pornographic as emigrate and take up full citizenship. Well anyway, whenever there's a funeral in one of those stories it's always raining and drear. But not here in bloody Pavis. Not at this time of year anyway. No, here it was hot and sunny. The kind of sunny that makes you fully believe in the awesome power of Yelm, or whatever you call your local sun deity anyway. I believe the Praxians think Yelm's a big bird spirit called Sun Hawk or something like that. Matters weren't helped any by the Yemalian's insistence on holding funerals at high noon so Yelm can take one last look at the dearly departed before he or she is entrusted to the embrace of Ernalda the Earth Goddess. So there we were standing around these two holes in the ground waiting to entrust the not so dearly departed to the Earth's cold embrace. Or dry and dusty embrace here in Prax.

It was quite a crowd gathered round the cemetary. On top of all the Yemalian local notables and most of the Sun Town quarter, bunch of idiots standing out in the hot sun risking sunshot, there were other local notables, most of whom were smart and disrespectful enough to stand under some canopies Sor-Eel had wisely had set up. Belvani was standing out in the sun as Count Solanthos' official representative while I stood with my Lunar buddies under a canopy. No idiot I. It was a pretty big turnout I must say. There were all the bigwigs from Sun Town, Karial the Pure, Haloric Goldbrow, a paunchy guy with a twisted foot I recognized as Thrandren Clubfoot, priest of the solar wagon god Lorkanos, and his assistant Durdath plus a nameless chorus of spear carriers, modest veiled women and the simple folk who do all the work. I noticed that other than a small honour guard for the stiffs that most of the templars weren't wearing their plate. Smart boys after all.

The Lunar turn out was pretty good too, besides myself there was Sor-  and Bor-Eel, Radak the Iron Centurion, Sitzmag Redmoon, Commander of the Antelope Lancers, Hucipites, Commander of the Marble Phalanx, and Banaryos, Commander of the Silver Shields. Plus a full contigent from the Seven Mothers temple, Porusa the Patient, the High Priestess, Hetaera Thessen, Priestess of Irripi Ontor, Berene Pavalava, the Mother of Mercy, my old pal Harnasti, and Pharnastes Rugbagian and Valerina the Peddler, both followers of Etyries. Plus of course lots of scribes, fan wavers, water bringers and bodyguards. Jotoran Longsword and Jorjar the Quick stood with us as well.

Under a separate canopy were the Pavic contingent including most if not all of the daughters of Pavis. Benderri, Pavis' only "son", Fleeter Nemm, Ginkizzie the Mostali, Bendrath, Cyrilius Harmonius, Bilkar and the only non-crossdresser in the bunch the unfortunately named Broosta. Standing with them was the self-proclaimed King of the Rubble Hargran. Leader of the Pavis Royal Guard and most appropriately titled "the Dirty". Smelly would have worked as well, as would Stinky, Gross or Disgusting. With them were civic notables like Byrgga Scissorstongue, head of the Cloth and Leather Workers Guild, my new "friend" Hallarax the Singer, and Kolli the Portly, Head of the Jeweler's Guild. There were some other guildmasters as well. I'd guess that most of them had shown up since this was such a political event.

There was even an Orlanthi contingent. It always amazes me when they can show up at social events with the Yemalians and avoid getting into those stupid ritual challenges. Deezola spare me from having to listen to any more of their bad doggerel! Faltikus the Good the newish High Priest of Orlanth was there. You could almost see the leash running from the collar around his neck to Sor-Eel's hand. Krogar Wolfhelm was standing beside him sporting his usual wolf helm and wearing an iron chain hauberk. He was studiously ignoring the angry gazes he was getting from most of the Lunars. Beside him was Willem Noralar, Sword of Humakt, the elderly Issaries, Kost the Tracker and some of his Bison pals, and Silva Uleriablest, High Priestess of the Uleria temple. You could tell from the way their clothing was moving that they were using slyphs to keep themselves cool. Lucky bastards! There were some other Orlanthi types too including that duck and, sigh, Harkala Glad-help. I waved at her trying not to look too goofy. She waved back and got a reproving look from the stiff standing beside her.

There was even some river folk, no newtlings though. Too hot and they seem to resent people that eat their tails for some reason. Go figure. The ceremony seemed to last forever and I spent my time scanning the crowd to see if I could spot anyone who might be worth questioning. Amazingly none of the Yemalians fainted from the heat. They're a tough bunch, gotta give them that. Finally all the prayers were finished and the eulogies were over. Funnily enough the one for Cressidus was pretty short and factual. No one spoke ill of the dead. Karial managed to speak at some length of how promising his nephew had been and how obviously Yemalio needed him in the other world more than he needed him here. Funny, if my god needed me I hoped He would send a celestial chariot or winged messengers. Or even smite me rather than let me be brutally stabbed and dumped in a cow pen to lie in the shit. Sorry, cebu pen. But all things must come to an end and so did the ceremony. Some gnomes shoveled dirt over the stiffs and people started heading for shelter.

I waited to see if anyone would linger and was rewarded by the sight of a woman wrapped in long robes and properly veiled like a Yemalian who remained by Cressidus' graveside. Lover? Hater? Creditor? I decided to make it my business to find out.

To be continued.

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