A Good End In Badside - Part XLII

From: Oliver D. Bernuetz <bernuetz.oliver_at_...> <bernuetz.oliver_at_...>
Date: Fri, 24 Jan 2003 20:24:19 -0000


Trolls give me the creeps. I believe I've already mentioned that I don't particularily care for non-humans, no matter what Sedenya thinks about universal brotherhood and what. Don't even get me started on the farcical distinction between "good" and "bad" chaos. No, not bad, what's the official term again? Oh yeah, "unenlightened". Right, unenlightened my arse. There's a reason why the public lavatories in Glamour that aren't staffed by broos do such booming business compared to those that are. Most "unenlightened" people can't tell the difference between the two varieties and don't care to.

Like I was saying I'd be perfectly happy if I didn't have to deal with any of them. I can certainly tell the difference between nonhumans  and some are better than others. But trolls are probably the worst of the ones you're likely to see on a day to day basis. Especially here in Pavis. You know my history with elves and they creep me out even more, cause they're so damn different than humans. And so bloody dangerous. But most days I can fool myself and believe that trolls aren't that different than humans. Right, like most people I visit pose the danger of eating me. Well there was that one time..

But I digress. My troll contact is one runty looking uzko, those are the ones most like humans. He's so runty he's not much bigger than your average Uroxi, i.e., still a heck of a lot bigger than me. They call him Chomper, yeah real imaginative I know, at Bob's Bisonburger where he "mans" the grill. I don't know what his mother called or calls him. Chomper's okay I guess but he's considered to be a weirdo in the general trollish community because he eats cooked food. If he were a decent, morally upstanding troll "cook" he would work at Thunderbreath Gobbleguts out in the Rubble serving up the vittles still squirming if at all possible. But no he's a freak like much of Pavis and lives here and eats cooked food like a human.

At Bob's I order a bisonburger, there isn't anything else on the menu, crispy on the outside still sloppy inside. When I pay Chomper I flip him a blog our signal that I want to talk to him. I eat my burger with relish, it's not bad really and get up to leave. Chomper tells Bob he's taking a break wipes his hands on his apron and heads out back. I'm standing there waiting for him and he smiles at me and says, "So what's up?" I explain the situation to me and offer him one in ten of the remaining bolgs if he'll deliver this message for me.

Shaking his head Chomper says, "Those Zorani are bad news Placidus. If you look cross-eye at 'em they'll gut you faster than a riverman cleaning carp. Give me one in nine and I'll do it." Since I didn't really care what happened to the damn bolgs I agreed. Chomper looked disappointed to lose out on a decent haggle but like I said I'm just happy to be rid of the bloody things. No guarantees the Zoranis would do it though. I thanked Chomper and told him that he could either find me or leave a message for me at Gimpy's. Waving goodbye I headed back to Juli's to make arrangements for my bud Petro.

To be continued.

Oliver

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