For what it is worth, here's my thoughts on it.
Have you ever played the classic board game Diplomacy? The seven powers of Europe in 1900 strive to dominate the continent. The catch is that there are no dice, the stronger force `wins' each tactical battle. Tactics matter, but the real secret to the game is the diplomacy angle, persuading others to work with you and isolating and misleading your enemies.
I think conflict in Esrolia would go something like that. In other words, military might is not inconsequential. If you can muster an army five thousand strong and she can only muster an army two thousand strong, you could subjugate her with your army. BUT, she will have allies, and neutral parties may not like to see you throw your weight around, so to actually do so might ensure your own eventual doom. BUT does she know you view things that way, and if not can you bluff that you might attack, and so get concessions? And so on.
Of course, it isn't always about armies, it is Glorantha still, and Esrolia in particular, so it could be access to particular temples, powerful artifacts, and so on that define many conflicts.
Still, you have all those men who like to dress up in shiny armor and prove how tough they are, and while it is usually best to keep them busy with other things, if you never let them bring out their toys and bluster and swagger around some of them get hard to control. So you march them around sometimes, you just make sure the officers are sensible women who understand that "killing the enemy" is not the actual objective of the exercise.
In all honesty they probably aren't the most effective troops, since they don't drill that much and the quality of their equipment is probably marginal (sure the women indulge them, but enough to buy metal armor? I don't think so!), and frankly most have never been tested in a real battle. And they are husbands and fathers and workers. They can be sacrificed if necessary, but it is an expensive sacrifice.
For most cases of dealing with outside forces it is far better to hire foreign mercenaries (or even Esrolian ones, there are probably some capable if ill-regarded Esrolian mercenary troops), who value their lives quite cheaply all things considered. Oh, you may back up the mercenaries with locals, but everyone (except maybe the local troops and even probably most of them) knows that the mercenaries are the key part of the force. (There are probably small Esrolian forces of better quality, but I doubt any of the queendoms can field a decent sized army of good quality troops without using mercenaries.) But you don't want to use foreign mercenaries too carelessly within Esrolia, as they are apt to be far too destructive for any but the most desperate struggles.
All of which is to say, while outright conquest may seldom be the objective, that doesn't mean that fighting defensively is always the preferred strategy. Actually, fighting is far too destructive, expensive, and chancy to ever be a preferred strategy, but for that very reason it makes a good threat. So actual strategies may be offensive or defensive, but in either case it doesn't mean that a lot of blows have to be struck in anger.
--Bryan
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