Re: A great big steaming pile of fewmets

From: Gerald Bosch <gbosch_at_...>
Date: Sat, 24 Jul 2004 19:05:35 -0400


Perhaps we might have anticipated some of this. The director, Antoine Fuqua, also directed "Tears of the Sun" - in which a group of soldiers (led by Bruce Willis) goes on a rescue mission into Africa, then winds up rescuing an entire village.

Does this sound familiar?

Gerald

  Well, I finally went & saw King Arthur, and was thoroughly underwhelmed by   the historiocity and "True Story of Arthur-ness" of it. (I never bought into   the Matthews & Malcor theory that Arther *was* a Sarmation - after 200   years, I figure any Sarmatian blood was running pretty thin in the unit, and   the story claims that Roman soldiers were still being sent to Britain after   the Emperor Honorius told the British to "look to their own defenses". Huh?)

  Besides all the historical and mythical problems with the movie, it *really*   was just another entry into the "Magnificent Seven" subgenre of movies:   seven super-competent guys ride forth, rescue some innocent villagers and   defeat a nasty army. Instead of Mexican peons we have "woads" (why can't we   just call a Pict a Pict? The word dates to the third century, the movie   supposedly takes place in the 5th...) enslaved by a nasty Roman, and instead   of Banditos we have a Saxon Army a few hundred miles off from where they   originally landed (Cerdic & Cynric landed in the *south* of Britain, Mr.   Bruckheimer!)

  So is the movie any good? Well, if you ignore the whole "Arthur" part,   there's some nice fighting sequences (apparantly, Sarmatian knights never   fight with shields (even though they carry them on their saddles - they must   be related to the Rohirrim), and they like unorthodox weapons like paired   shortswords, bladed gloves, and the like). The eye-candy aspect is   practically nil, though - Kiera Knightly in skimpy leather fighting harness   looks like a 13 year old boy in skimpy leather fighting harness.

  You can get some nice Gloranthan scenario ideas, though...

  Roman Britain becomes post-Dragonrise Sartar and Tarsh; Hadrian's Wall   becomes the Glowline

  Arthur and his Sarmatian Knights get transformed into Sable Lancers from the   Hungry Plateau (I thought of making them Char-un, but those boys from Erigia   probably aren't the right fit for a Magnificent Seven type warband). The   Retreating Romans are various useless Imperial troops, the "Woads" are   Tarshite hill folk, Saxons are victorious Heortlings (maybe with Harrek &   Co. as support). Cerdic is Argath, Cynric is (a different) Argrath.

  RR
  It is by my order and for the good of the state that the bearer of this has   done what he has done.

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