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We do have at least one socially-acceptable place for gay Heortlings to worship so presumably there is some socially-acceptable way to legitimise and sanctify long-term relationships, otherwise who knows what sort of chaos (small "c" or big "C") could follow?
It seems to me that the salient points about the position of homosexuals in Heortling society are:
It's possible, though, that some "marriage of convenience" might be contracted, like a year-long marriage, just to produce children. I'm pretty certain that these would only take place under exceptional circumstances, though - to fulfill prophecies, or if the clan NEEDS population growth. I can't see the participants in such a marriage necessarily being very enthusiastic about each other, but needs must...
2. I suspect that any outright prejudice comes not from the fact that homosexual acts are "unnatural" as such, but that they cross traditional gender roles. The perceived "passive" partner in a male homosexual relationship being seen as acting "like a woman", for example. Not that I believe that, in practice, that anything except a tiny proportion of gay relationships are structured like this. The idea that in gay relationships there tends to be a dichotomy between "passive" and "active" partners seems largely to be a myth that's believed by heterosexuals. Most (male) participants in homosexual sex who will only penetrate and not be penetrated do not self-identify as homosexual.
3. There is some mythic justification for homosexuality, from the myths of Vinga, Orlanth, Heler, Nandan (though, strictly, Nandan applies to male-to-female transsexuals, which is an entirely different thing), etc. In many cases, such dalliances may well be just that, short-term dalliances. We know from various sources that the Heortlings are pretty relaxed about pre-marital sex (and even pre-marital pregnancy, to go by King of Dragon Pass); presumably this applies to gay sex as well. The question is, then, what about longer-term relationships?
Given the wide variety of marriage types available to Heortlings, the very strong taboos against adultery and the mythic "justifications" that exist for homosexuality among the Heortlings, I do find it hard to believe that there no legal/mythic way of legitimising a long-term gay relationship among the Heortlings. I can't see having a bunch of unattached sexually-active unmarried adults around, possibly tempting married couples into adultery would be seen as a good thing. I think it's safe to assume that the cult of Heler, for example, has such rites. Particularly so given the legalistic/economic nature of Heortling marriages. If there is no same-sex marriage available, one of the worries would be that an individual who inherits clan property could gift it all away to a gay partner who, without the legal framework of a marriage, has brought no "bride"-price and owes no duty to the clan.
If gay marriage does exist, then it would surely mimic the structures of the existing marriages. Deciding who moves to whose clan would probably be based on the power-structures of the clans. A man from a matriarchal clan marrying another from a patriarchal clan would certainly move to his husband's clan, for example. More complex situations, like when both are from patriarchal clans, may well be decided on a case by case basis. It may be, though, that "traditionally" one would tend to marry a partner from the other sort of matri/patriarchal clan to your own. Whatever happens, I'm sure there'd be smutty jokes about "under-husbands".
4. Further to the above point, adultery is adultery, regardless of the gender of the person you're committing it with. Even if there's no risk of producing children who might contest inheritance claims, a homosexual extra-marital affair would still be criticised for being a possible breaking point for a marriage, which could break it up altogether. Which, of course, does affect inheritance/property type issues.
On top of that, extra-marital affairs just aren't conducive to the "smooth running" of the clan, what with all the potential for broken marriages that ruin alliances, start feuds and use up time that the council, lawspeakers, Ernaldan sewing circle or whatever could use better elsewhere.
5. In certain areas, the confusion in gender roles associated with homosexuals can be mythically/magically significant. Note, though, that most homosexuals certainly don't act in any way like the other gender. That's another (rather pernicious and nasty, in my opinion) stereotype.
Here, I must admit that I'm a little uncomfortable with the notion that "all" gay Heortlings join the weird and omnisexual Heler. Speaking as a gay man myself, it seems rather offensive to me, carrying the implication that gay people aren't expected to or shouldn't join "normal cults for normal people". I think the key point about, say, Heler is that his worship provides a "niche". You could look at it as analogous to the way that the world of the theatre has been considered a "safe place" for gay men down the years in the real world. It doesn't mean that you don't also find gay men in the army, inusrance industry or as lumberjacks. Likewise, gay Heortlings could be found worshipping any god.
Perhaps rather than "he's a bit theatrical" as a (slightly old-fashioned now, I admit) euphemism, Heortlings might describe someone as "rainy" or "cloudy".
Regards,
Bruce
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