Kung-Fu Moves

From: Guy Hoyle <ghoyle1_at_...>
Date: Wed, 12 Sep 2001 20:39:24 -0500

How many times have you been out with your girlfriend, and suddenly wander into a fight between Chinese martial arts gangs? Your nameless punches and kicks seem pretty lame against their mongolian mantis forehead and dirty hell fist, don't they?

Now, thanks to the Amazing Verbal Kung-Fu generator, you too can deliver a screaming vampire wheel or a fang of the mustard-seed energy, too! Just go to http://www.ruf.rice.edu/~pound/kungfu.html and pick up to 500 martial arts maneuvers every 15 minutes! That's 2000 an hour! And it's all completely FREE!

Remember the 70s, when they had all the really great names for martial arts moves, like
ruinous ram boxing
no moon knife
mighty cricket throw
poetic virgin boxing
flying wind defense
fang of the scholar vengeance
?
Now you can have these and many more, like masculine vampire energy
heavenly rooster fright
dirty immortal pounce
dancing grasshopper fright
impossible scholar tackle
screaming chopstick slam
judicious goldfish fist
glorious gecko maneuver
!
So rush out now to http://www.ruf.rice.edu/~pound/kungfu.html and grab a magnificent panda fistful of vengeance!

(And if these don't make great feats for HeroWars then I'll eat my strange jade sword!)
"Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall down an open manhole cover and die."
--Mel Brooks