Good writing, good start, worth a beer. Email me and we'll figure
out how to get you one.
I have one big problem with the myth though - why does Avarnia
survive at the end? When Storm Bull was getting whacked by the
Devil, he called upon his rage, he called upon the earth, and hey,
he's a bull, they're tough. Bird are pretty fragile. I found
the "she just gets up" disappointing since the rest was quite good.
Ideas:
- She does die. One of her eggs becomes the new Avarnia, she gets
reincarnated. (sounds like something the Lunars would like)
- Or, we need some reason she survived trampling. I'm hard pressed
here. Unless we turn Avarnia into a healing cult.
- Or, maybe she just "played dead". This could work, but puts a
slight "tricksterish" spin onto Avarnia. Birds do play "hurt" just
like in your tale, but I don't think they play dead.
- Maybe lots of her flock came out and saved her by leading away the
horse-enemy. Sort of a "mass confusion lead them all over" feat.
There may be others. I like a and d best, they retain Avarnia as
fundamentally bird-like. B and c have her win, not cause she's a
bird, but cause she's a healer or a trickster.