Re: Troyboys and Buff Men in Leather Mini-Skirts

From: David Weihe <blerg2_at_Asix-ymkgta5Q61Cy-9ZvUtBHFafwNqistN9zTsoY_4iKt0MDXrkhcY-paZfsrT1dtdl0>
Date: Mon, 17 May 2004 09:37:14 -0700 (PDT)


John Hughes <nysalor_at_P4eHJ0cmVbuDlD_uz22JLBq5hj9ydGYP3KKjaF2JUlTtZRn4HqIGjC5_nZsOImfVCRwawvXDnzWSfQ7Hkg.yahoo.invalid> wrote
> I'm wondering what folks impressions are? The scriptwriters 'improve'
> on Homer of course, - we knew the gods were going to be sidelined,
> but so apparently is the entire Patroclus love affair - whether
> for 'story', G rating, or because there's already too much campy
> homoeroticism in Hollywood beefcake epics - I've no idea.

The movie is very much mundaned. Early in the movie, a boy asks Achilles if it is true that his mother was a goddess, and that he was invulnerable, and he replied "Then why do you think I use a shield?", and we later see Thetis as a middle aged woman. When he dies, it is not from just one arrow to the heel, but rather that he pulled out the others before he died, out of everyone else's sight, so when the Greeks find him they only see the famous wound. The ten year siege is reduced to less than one month long. No snakes come to kill the Trojan priest when he espresses doubt about the horse (which in fact, someone else does, without even using the cliche of fearing the Greeks even bearing gifts).

OTOH, as any Glorantha fan knows, what is written down is not necessarily what happened. Much of the revised story *could* have been how things really happened. I saw only two real problem with the rewritten version. First, they have Helen claim that she came to Sparta to marry Menelaos, whereas the legends all seem to have M as king-matrimonial. Second, they have Menelaos die during the siege, by Hector during the famous duel between M and Paris, whereas I thought that, in the Odyssee, Telemachus meets Menelaos and Helen in the court at Sparta, and they even discuss his marrying one of their daughters, implying that they both survived and made the best of things.

If only Brad Pitt could put a little emotion into his acting, rather than reading most of his lines like he was a court stenographer asked to repeat previous testimony, it might have actually been good (OK, Brian Cox could have dialed down his Agamemnon slightly too, but that is nitpicking. Maybe he was trying to get their average right?). As is, see it in the cheap matinee showings if you can, not the full priced shows.

> And no Cassandra? - what a loss.

Agreed. The only thing that I ever liked about Agamemnon was that he had the good taste to take *her* as spoils rather than, say, Hector's widow (which would definitely be a trophy). Much like the best thing about JFK was that he had the taste to have an affair with Marilyn Monroe (vs Bill Clinton, who would have gone for Shelly Winters).

> Still, CGI-enhanced epic story is back, which is good news for us,
> no matter the quality of individual offerings. If I were Virgil or
> Aeschylus I'd be calling my agent.

I disagree. Bad movies with good CGI are no better than bad movies with the action taking place off screen, and usually worse. This wasn't a bad movie, but it wasn't particularly good. Although it was infinitely better than Van Helsing.                          



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