[Effective Character Level, or ECL, is a touchy-feely D&D 3e concept which better models players PCing harder monsters as characters. E.g. a 1st level drow character actually 'counts' as a 3rd level character.]
The long and the short of it is that Spanner is grudgingly creating a 2nd level human bard -- as a stop-gap, until the other party members are of a high enough level that he can create a centaur, or something. Anyway...
Shar, Shortbow and Mungo proceeded to pass through a door to the south. It opened onto a raised platform, at the L-junction of a corridor, which proceeded 20' south and 30' west. Beyond the raised area, the corridors were filled to a 3' depth with clear water!
Shortbow: "Great. I'm 3'8"."
Mungo: "I'm 3' fucking 4"..."
With considerable difficulty, the three brave venturers headed south, and came to a door. It was stuck, but Shar duly booted it open. It opened onto a 20' by 30' room, also filled with water to a depth of 3'. On the south wall was chained an emaciated man. Shar was immediately suspicious. "Who are you?" he asked. The man mumbled weakly. "Adroniptic," he replied.
"Hold on," Mungo interjected. "Adroniptic... C...I...T...P...I...N...O...R...D...A... nah, it's nowt backwards. He's probably safe."
Shar: "What are you doing here?"
Shortbow: "Maybe we should free him first..."
Shar: "Fuck that! I don't like the look of him."
Shortbow: "We could give 'im some food."
Shar: "No. Why? I don't trust him."
Mungo: "You're quite happy to trust a flying demon with glowing red
eyes that had been captured and held in this dungeon, but you don't
trust a chained emaciated man?"
Shar: "No fuckin' way. So... why are you here?"
Chained Emaciated Man: "I was put here by my former friend the
ogre..."
Mungo: "The ogre on level 4?"
Chained Emaciated Man: "Er... no."
Shortbow: "How on earth did you get to know the ogre?"
Chained Emaciated Man: "He gave me shelter."
Shar: "Eh?!"
Chained Emaciated Man: "I was lost in the wilderness, and the ogre
offered me shelter."
Mungo: "Oh yeah... 'shelter', eh... right, we understand... and a
bit of 'How's your father', I reckon..."
Chained Emaciated Man: "No, the ogre was male."
Mungo: "So... they do that in Chessenta!"
Shar: "So, he was wandering in the wilderness, and was taken in by
an ogre? That's the shittest, dodgiest bollocks story I've ever
heard. He's not telling the truth."
Chained Emaciated Man: "It is the truth. We fell out, and he chained
me here two days ago."
Shar: "Bollocks. Look, I cast Detect Good on him."
DM: "There is a spark of good in him."
Shar: "Right, now I definitely don't trust him."
Mungo: "Who do you worship?"
Chained Emaciated Man: "Nephthys [in Mulhorand the goddess of
wealth, trade, protector of children and the dead]."
Mungo: "If we release you, will you tell us about the ogre... and
will you convert to Tiamat?"
Chained Emaciated Man: "Perhaps. Is Tiamat opposed to the Mulhorandi
gods?"
Mungo: "Er..." [Tiamat was a foe of all gods in Unther, worshipped
by all alignments; and is now a popular rebellious cult against the
Mulhorandi that occupy Unther] -- Mungo succeeds in a Diplomacy
check -- "No, not really."
Chained Emaciated Man: "Okay then. I could worship Tiamat as well."
Mungo: "Fine! Release him."
The man is released; emaciated, but no longer chained.
Emaciated Man/DM: "The Ogre is named Orlanth. Erm... you know, I'm
sure I've heard that name before..."
Players: <giggle>
Emaciated Man: "Oh... and he has a pet black dragon."
To be continued next week...
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