BRAZILIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. They are actually lower grade material (sheep), as you bought them off a mate and split the difference. But you have the documents to prove they are cows and will give one of them to the fiscal investigator if he asks. Or kill his wife.
On Tue, Mar 18, 2008 at 4:22 PM, Keith Nellist <keithnellist_at_ZxFZIFJyWpwhveepmYCDDTtxT96xh2lc2zUTz8UvfW935RY1B8jdH749pf1ovBEjRnQUDsaA6XOvHu9i-cM.yahoo.invalid> wrote:
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>
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> SOCIALISM: You have 2 cows, and you give one to your neighbour
>
> COMMUNISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some
> milk.
>
> FASCISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some
> milk.
>
> NAZISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you.
>
> BUREAUCRATISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one,
> milks the
> other, then throws the milk away...
>
> TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a
> bull. Your
> herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on
> the income.
>
> SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take
> harmonica lessons.
>
> AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and force
> the
> other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant
> to
> analyse why the cow has dropped dead.
>
> ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell three of them
> to your
> publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your
> brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an
> associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a
> tax
> exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are
> transferred via
> an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the
> majority
> shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed
> company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an
> option
> on one more. Sell one cow to buy a new President of the United
> States ,
> leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the
> release. The
> public buys your bull.
>
> THE ANDERSEN MODEL: You have two cows. You shred them.
>
> A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike, organise a
> riot,
> and block the roads, because you want three cows.
>
> A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they
> are
> one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the
> milk. You
> then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'cowkimon' and market it
> worldwide.
>
> A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they
> live
> for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
>
> AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows, but you don't know where
> they
> are. You decide to have lunch.
>
> A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and learn
> you have
> five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count
> them
> again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open
> another
> bottle of vodka.
>
> A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
> You
> charge the owners for storing them.
>
> A CHINESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You have 300 people milking
> them.
> You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine
> productivity, and
> arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.
>
> AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You worship them.
>
> A BRITISH CORPORATION: You have two cows. Both are mad.
>
> IRAQI CORPORATION: Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell
> them that
> you have none. No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you
> and
> invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least now you are
> part
> of a Democracy....
>
> WELSH CORPORATION: You have two cows. The one on the left looks very
> attractive.
>
> AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. Business seems pretty
> good. You
> close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate
>
>
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