Re: Re: What world-building lessons have you learned from Glorantha?

From: Kevin McDonald <kpmcdona_at_19QwdORX6NyKZ6I5lmNn-_j8QzvMIJk1_W8wL-zenK0wahK34PWAGoOZuU7RlMBtOSb>
Date: Wed, 8 Jun 2011 09:42:24 -0400


Incoherence is coherent when coherence is in Glorantha.

Yes, I quoted Newt's entire message to make this comment. Deal with it.

-Kevin McD

On Wed, Jun 8, 2011 at 5:30 AM, newtiswrong <mrnewt_at_ClqXYEwqz5BbeRoD2M9X2-dT8lD-CbKCVUqYDUVSuHclIrxZIRbwz1ydw6x_nEABOUynQ0L2O3tUEA.yahoo.invalid> wrote:

>
>
>
>
> wrote:
> >
> > Is Newt a genius? Quite possibly, but then I remembered he called a
> magazine 'Hearts in Glorantha'. For now I'll mark him as 'flawed genius'.
> >
>
> I AM A GENUIS YOU FAT FUCK.
>
> I am a 13 year child prodidy who roleplays every day and has written 10
> full core-rulebooks since yesterday, egged on by my doting parents Phillipa
> and Josua Newport - who have given up their own lives so I can fullfil their
> dream of me wining the RPG Olympics.
>
> Since I can't go and beat John senseless because the cheating, cheating
> bastard lives on the other side of the world (and my government has quite
> sensibly baned any of its citezans from going to its old Penal Conlony -
> even for Kangeroo Boxing tournaments), I feel a bowl movement to compose my
> own mini-essay about the very poor state of Glorantha.
>
> Its worse than you thought kids, I will not spare you there horror.
>
> Here
>
> It
>
> Comes..
>
> No honestly here it is
>
> gLoRAnTHA Teh State of Undress wot I wrote in five minutes
>
> Once upon Glorantha was a fish....no no it was a Gerbil...or was it a
> bulbous eyed Toad? I forget but I ramble on, and one, even though I m
> toothless and ginger and no one but my poor dead dog (fergus) cares any
> more. And because it was a fish (or GerbilToad) it swallowed the Sun whole.
> this was a bad thing. IT BURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRNNNSS!! It BURNs all the
> cheeze on toast. King Alfred's elderly girlfriend was not at all amused.
> "Right Alfy, no sex for you for a month" she goes, "If I wanted crutons I
> would have made soup!".
>
> Meanwhile Glorantha was undergoing somewhat of a silly teenage phase. Bad
> skateboarding and a tendency to listen to Opera were the order of the day.
> "A horse, a horse, A Kindgom for a Horse" Glorantha shouted, which was
> probably a good thing because a horse will get you faster from point A to Z
> than a skate board (no mater how cool Metallica says it is).
>
> But woe it was a cry that Glorantha would soon regret:
>
> 1. Fishes can not swim in Horseshite.
>
> 2. No FEET TO REACH THE STIRUPS!!!
>
> 3. Every one now assumed that Glorantha was a wordclass Show Jumper,
> despite an inherant modesty. Glorantha soon good fed up of being forced to
> participate in the Sandringham Horsetrails every year.
>
> So faced with this underage drinking problem, Glorantha decided to get into
> bed with PC Plum ( an obscure Childrens TV character - whom my Mother in Law
> thought was gay until I pointed out that the other male on the same TV show
> [extra points if you can name it] was equally effeminate, and this was so
> that little girls would not get scared of them ). This was a bad move, since
> it turned out while PC Plum being a hetrosexual male after all (see Mother
> Law, I WOZ RIGHT!), Glorantha was an asexual concept. Faced with
> disappointment in this department Glorantha turned to a life of Crime.
>
> And yes my friends it is a Crime that Toilet paper is no longer shiny and
> we are pampered, PAMPERED I SAY, by this soft-to-arse paper sold by small
> puppys door to door. I woundn't mind as much but I have to bend down to give
> them the money. And what do I get for my money? Glorantha in boxes,
> Glorantha on the under side of my shoes, Glorantha in my navel (it comes in
> a fluff version now) and even Glorantha on the end of a soap where the pope
> used to be (the last point being especially gauling since the Pope wins over
> Glorantha everyday of the week in my comic).
>
> In closing I would like to point out
>
> 1. ALL THIS IS FUCKING TRUE and if you decide to argue any warez on TEH
> INTERNETS I WILL WINS!!! I LIVE IN WINDONIA, I AM THE GALATIC EMPEROR OF
> WININZ! SO GIVE IT UP YOU LOOOSERSS!
>
> 2. I know none of you eat your five a day.
>
> 3, Preparing chillis for a curry and then touching your penis (or girl
> parts) will have consquences I will not be held be responsible for.
>
>
> Love and Lollipops
>
> ;O)Newt
>
>
>

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