Gopto Glabbrax's [S]peculations on the Lunar Army I

From: Stewart Stansfield <stu_stansfield_at_jaQYilUbCwsR7YLbVhfsqZIBXcq_9X0xkCLfhdn__zXvAfowkXNqc59VL2xb1>
Date: Sat, 14 Apr 2007 13:00:15 -0000


GOPTO GLABBRAX'S [S]PECULATIONS ON THE LUNAR ARMY I
[In the above title, the `S' in `Speculations' has been crossed-out
by an anonymous hand.]

In the following, Gopto Glabbrax, centurion in the Slavewall Foot and son of the infamous Spurio (whom some label `Brothel-Master-General' of the Provincial Army, and others worse things besides), provides in his near-inimitable Tarshite drawl some insights into the financial condition of that noblest harbinger of the Lunar Way: the common Sedenyite sentinel, chastising barbarians for a lunar a week. Theoretically.

[All the following figures are based on Martin Laurie and Mark
Galeotti's article, `The Imperial Economy' in _The Four Scrolls of Revelation_ Convulsions C02 Conbook (The Unspoken Word, Crewe, 2002), pp. 9-14. If you go by the older RQ pricelists, you'll have to make up your own numbers I'm afraid.]

1 (gold) wheel = 20 (silver) lunars = 200 (copper) navars

WHAT'S THE PAY OF A COMMON SOLDIER IN THE SLAVEWALL FOOT? Well, feoretickly, your average full-time shi… soldier gets a lunar a week, or wun an' free-sevenffs coppers a day. Tha's not countin' special rates: as we's organised like a Lunar regiment, you gets wunan' -'alf rate in Sacred Weeks, an's then there's your double-pay- days, which is all the Great Moon Days. An' we also gets triple money on Moirades' burfday. When 'e remembers it. So, that's, er…

FORTY-FIVE LUNARS AND SEVEN AND ONE-SEVENTH COPPERS PER ANNUM? Eggsacktly. An' file-leaders, they gets two lunars a week normal like, twice that of the regulars. Well, feoretickly.

THEORETICALLY?
Yeah, feoretickly. You see, we don't actually pay the bas… lads that, of course.

WHAT, THEY DON'T ACTUALLY GET THEIR FULL PAY? Bloody Lunar 'ells no! You twit. Why would we do that? We'd all be bankrupt! Of the pay they's supposed to get, it's split into their subsistance, or the pay they're really supposed to get… if possible, mind… and the deductibles, or the pay they're really not really supposed to get, and that is stopped from 'em. Or, as the lads say, grain-'n-gin-money and I'll-be-buggered-backwards-by-a-brotard-if-I- know-where-it's-gone-money.

… DEDUCTIBLES?
Right. You know, off-reckonin's? Furstly, one copper from the weekly lunar, and a further copper over Sacred Weeks, is stopped as the King's Portion, a bit like the Emperor's Tenth up north. That's fortythree  coppers a year taken from a man's pay, out of which we pays the standard Lunar Sevenff in tithing. Not to the Heartlands, mind, but to King Moirades. This 'elps provide for the Phargentites and variuss contingencies for the Army of Tarsh, such as hintelligence – Harr! – though the Royal Dishthane takes 'is `fair' share… After the tithe there's a further week's pay taken out of the Portion for road an' river money, fer makin' the ways, passages, posts, camps 'n' magazines in Tarsh an' beyond – of course, if you're making these ways, you get paid extra 'n' get some of the money back. An' then one lunar in every gold wheel stipended to a soldier is given to Lokarnos as spoke-money or waggonage, which amounts to anuver twenty-two coppers portage taken from the Portion, with a further clack accounted every uver year.

I THOUGHT THAT WAS AN ANCIENT YELMITE CUSTOM, NOT USED IN THE PROVINCIAL ARMY?
Tecknickly.

ALSO YOU DON'T HAVE ANY WAGONS…
Look, do you want me answers, or not?

OKAY, PLEASE CONTINUE. SO THE KING PAYS YOU THE MONEY… AND YOU GIVE IT BACK TO HIM?
Yer.

ERM… WOULDN'T IT JUST BE EASIER FOR THE KING TO PAY NINE-TENTHS OF WHAT HE NORMALLY DOES?
'Cos, gormless, the Portion is usually for fings we's often got bugger all idea o' what's needed or 'ow much they'll cost. But we knows `ow many soldiers we's got, so we just tacks it on to the army establishment, all accountable like, an' each regiment pays its fair share. Anyway, out of the forty-three coppers of the Portion, four and six-sevenffs are usually retained by the regiment, as the Remainders or muster money, which is used in the King's name fer tributes to the Armsmen who provide men to the regiment, and expenses to the recruitin' saltrieves.

OKAY, SO THAT'S THE DEDUCTIBLES…
No it ain't! The King's Portion's only a third of 'em. Then there's the Fifth Quarter, which is a further two coppers from the weekly lunar stopped for vurious fings, with another two taken over Sacred Weeks. If you're confused, it's pretty obviuss to remember that the Fifth Quarter makes up two-thirds of the off-reckonin's. Yeah?


Anyways, this amounts to eighty-six coppers a year, from which is taken the usual Sevenff in tithing, only this time passed on to the Provincial Army and Administration in various amounts: free-sevenffs o' a copper to the Provincial Overseer, 2 coppers to his office and wun-sevenff o' a copper to his scrivener; wun-sevenff o' a copper to the General o' Procurements and Disbursements; wun-sevenff o' a copper to the General Guide fer the Lunar Spirit and wun and sixsevenffs  to the Provincial Church itself; and free-sevenffs o' a copper to the General o' the Provincial Army, one-sevenff to his Harbinger, and seven coppers to the establishment itself. After the tithe there's a day's pay taken for the Teelo Norri poorhouses 'n' orph'nidges, two days' pay fer the widows' weepin' money an' funeral club…

FUNERAL CLUB? SOUNDS VERY CONVIVIAL.
Eh? And a day's pay per month fer the regimental cult, one double-pay- day's funds fer sacrifices not accounted fer by such, and the noshunul pay of every Water Day of Death Week taken for the Black Eel.

HOLD ON… WATER DAY OF DEATH WEEK? SO YOU'RE PAID ACCORDING TO THE LUNAR CALENDAR, BUT ACCOUNT SOME OF YOUR EXPENSES ACCORDING TO THE THEYALAN CALENDAR?
Yer.

ISN'T THAT CONFUSING?
Hurh! You should've seen it when they tried to pay us each day accordin' to the phase o' the Moon…

RIGHT. ALL THAT STILL LEAVES FORTY-FIVE AND ONE-SEVENTH COPPERS A YEAR UNACCOUNTED FOR OUT OF THE 129 SO FAR `DEDUCTED', WHICH I PRESUME ARE REFUNDED TO THE SOLDIER?
You great gorp! Clothin', armour 'n' weppens don't grow on trees, yer know… well, not 'less yer in Snakepipe 'Ollow, I guess. No, we provides 'em, and the bug… lads pays us back from their pay, that money bein' kept by the regiment fer the outfittin' fund. They don't get any o' that back, jus' their seven coppers' a week subsistence.

SO A LUNAR SOLDIER ACTUALLY RECEIVES SEVEN COPPERS A WEEK… Whoah, 'ang on. One copper a week is stopped out o' subsistence for gin-tithing, or gingild as we say 'ere. Tha's effecktively one sevenff o' a clack a day, doubled on Great Moon Days and wun-an'- 'alfed in Sacred Weeks of course. So that's six coppers subsistence a week normal like, to be paid equally in two instalments, usually on Crescent-Come and Crescent-Go. Of course, if the wan… lads are subsisted in kind at regimental expense, then the value o' that is stopped too, innit? Same as if they're given goods fer barter an' all with them barbarians. Oh, yer, finally a further copper is offen stopped weekly every other month, fer regimental contingencies and shortfalls not covered by deductibles from the King's Portion or Fifth Quarter.

SO, FIVE OR SIX COPPERS, THEN…
Whoah there, Yarandros! There yer go again. All this is scratches on a wax tablet… 's not real money. No, real money costs… money.

MONEY COSTS… MONEY?
Eggsacktly. Look, if we be payin' the bas… lads in coin, we 'af to be gettin' it from somewhere. An' it offen don't come cheap, not least with Moonson's Monopoly on silver! Like, if we's in Sartar, there's usually a charge two-an'-free-quarter per cent on all funds issued, which is usually a clack accounted fer each month o' so.

BUT THEY SOLDIERS ARE USUALLY PAID IN NAVARS, WHICH AREN'T MADE OF SILVER.
Tha's a point… Well, er, the recruitin' bounties are, tho'… a week's pay in advance like, jus' like this. <reaches into a bag and pulls out a coin>

THAT'S NOT A LUNAR, IT'S A BOLG.
No it isn't!

IT IS. AND `ARGENTEUS' DOESN'T HAVE A `J' IN IT. ANYWAY, YOU'RE OBFUSCATING THE ISSUE.
Eh?

NEVERMIND. SO OF THE 45 LUNARS AND ONE AND ONE-SEVENTH LUNARS STIPENDED, THE SOLDIER ACTUALLY RECEIVES UNDER 26 LUNARS A YEAR? Yep. But they get free gin.

BUT YOU'VE JUST SAID THE GIN ISN'T FREE… <alarmed> It isn't?

NEVERMIND. HOW MUCH DO YOU GET, GOPTO?
Now, tha's not a question t'ask a gennelman, is it! Well, alright then… do you mean from their pay or mine?

EITHER. BOTH. DOES IT MATTER?
Well, your typical company hofficer gets between five an' ten lunars a week, like, and a further lunar in slave money. He tends to pays for 'is stuff 'imself, so 'is stoppages is diff'rent, mind. 'E pays fer 'is waggonage, cult money, tithin's an' all that, but gets the outfittin' money back. Also 'is own Remainders is offen given back fer `company use' at the hofficer's discreshun. Then 'e gets 'is due proportions, like.

DUE PROPORTIONS?
Yer. There's 'is four-an'-'alf per cent of the gingild taken, fer negoshiatin' wi' the gin-peddlars on be'alf o' the company, and ensurin' it's good stuff, which is two clacks per man all told. Then there's 'is own sevenff taken from the regimental contingencies money, fer the `best usage o' the company at 'is discreshun', which is another free coppers per man. An' then there's 'is take on the widows' money, in their gratitude at 'is good graces, an'…

IT'S OKAY. YOU CAN STOP THERE.
Right. But, well, my company's a bit different, like.

OH, HOW COME?
Well, it's a long story, but my men don't acktually exist…

SYNOPSIS
Pay of a common Lunar soldier per annum – 45L. 7,1/7n.

OFF-RECKONINGS
King's Portion deductible – 4L. 3n. (of which 6,1/7n. seventh tithing; 1L. road and river money; 2L. 2n. waggonage; and 4,6/7n. Remainder or muster money)
Fifth Quarter deductible – 8L. 6n. (of which 1L. 2,2/7n. seventh tithing; 1,3/7n. Teelo Norri fund; 2,6/7n. weeping widows' money and funeral club; 1L. 4,2/7n. regimental cult; 2,6/7n. special sacrifices; 7,1/7n. Black Eel money; 4L. 5,1/7n. outfitting fund)

SUBSISTENCE
Subsistence, i.e. pay after deductibles – 32 L. 8,1/7n. Charge for subsistence transferred into specie, typically at 2.75% – 9n.*
Gingild deducted from subsistence – 4L. 4,3/7n. Regimental Contingencies deducted from subsistence – 2L. 1n.

BALANCE
Total subsistence remaining per annum – 25L. 3,5/7n.

*N.B. the entire fund of subsistence is usually transferred into specie and thus subject to the 2.75%, but the charge is effectively levelled on that which is issued to the soldier alone – regimental contingencies and gingild are not diminished!            

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