My view is that it is a difference of emphasis. In Dara Happen and Yelmalian cultures adultery is a religious crime. The offender is punished by the church or state as determined by the law. In Heortling society adultery it is a wrong done to the other party in the marriage and should be compensated. However this compensation is only payable if they choose to divorce. Now divorce causes all sorts of problems for the clans involved so there will usually be a lot of pressure to find another way.
That leaves a situation where some people get away with adultery on a regular basis because their partners choose not to make an issue of it. More common will be short term flings where the offending partner begs forgivness when caught and the couple rebuild the marriage.
Certainly the idea that adultery is very rare because of the sacred marriage of Orlanth and Ernalda is untrue. This is humans we're talking about not gods.
-- Donald Oddy http://www.grove.demon.co.uk/
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