Trolls vs. Ducks (Humor)

From: James Frusetta <gerakkag_at_wam.umd.edu>
Date: Sat, 1 Feb 1997 14:54:29 -0500 (EST)


Hmm -- what with the onslaught of sudden humor, why not? I used to know this _really_ annoying duck character in a campaign (more annoying than the duck average), so I felt the need to prove to him that Uz was better...

        Top 10 reasons why Trolls are better than Ducks

  1. Ducks drink swamp-herb tea. Trolls drink Powzie!
  2. Ducks: Frenzied attempts to bite your kneecaps off. Trolls: Crush 4, Bludgeon 4 on a maul, to your head.
  3. Duck holidays are typically dour contemplation at the Humakt temple. Troll holidays are typically getting drunk and slamdancing at the Zorak Zoran temple until you chunder.
  4. Ducks can't make the minimum height requirements for all the cool rides in the God Forgot amusement parks.
  5. Trolls don't need to outrun the lion; they just outrun the duck next to them.
  6. Troll heroes: heavy hitters like Cragspider, Arkat, Gerak Kag. Duck heroes: Donald, Daffy and Toilet Duck. (quack-quack!) 4 Trollish fears are of terrors and secrets beyond mankind's comprehension, ancient feuds with powerful races, and horrors that would snap lesser minds. A duck's biggest fear is feather molt.
  7. Ducks ride fat, short, gentle little ponies. Trolls ride giant tarantulas which can rip a rhino in half.
  8. It's _never_ "Troll season."
  9. Lunar provincial militia suffice to commit genocide against ducks; it took Gbaji to take on the trolls.

End of Glorantha Digest V4 #150


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