A Request for New Funding

From: Eachlach_at_aol.com
Date: Fri, 21 Feb 1997 17:12:33 -0500 (EST)


My most esteemed colleagues,

While recruiting guides for my field expedition to study fungus-husbandry techniques of the Dagori Inkarth tribes, I had opportunity to observe in the Skyfall Lake trolls a curious custom akin to the human practice known as
"cow-tipping". Fascinated, I abandoned all thought of mushrooms in order to
concentrate on this new and stunning discovery. For those who may be unfamiliar with the practice, I include this excerpt from Envarthos Skanthi's treatise, "On the Barbaric Practices of the Uncivilized" (Filichet archive #CT-D-1004893157-SE). Envarthos describes cow-tipping as:

    "...an act of casual cruelty predicated on the facts that cattle     sleep standing upright and are unable to regain their footing     without assistance. At its most basic, it involves creeping into     a neighbor's cattlepen under cover of night in order to knock     sleeping cows off their feet and onto their sides. Awakened and     distressed by the fall, the victimized cattle thrash about helplessly      much as would a tortoise flipped onto its back. Tricksters,     Orlanthi delinquents, and university students in their cups are     said to find this *extremely* amusing."

The trollish version of this custom is unique to them due to their so-called
"darksense". This darksense consists of generating focussed sound impulses of
short duration ("pings") which then reflect off objects in the environment and provide the troll with a "texture map" of its surroundings. So integral is this sound signature to trollish nature that even speech is permeated with many subtle grunts, clicks, and whistles which emphasize, characterize, and punctuate their language. When engaged in argument or brawling, trolls have been observed to direct intense, highly-focussed shouts and squeals at their opponents to disorient and confuse them, and to relieve their own anger and frustration. It is this means of stress release, taken outside the realm of social interaction, which I believe developed into the practice of
"bat-pinging".

Simply put, bat-pinging consists of directing high-intensity barks at small flying animals...primarily bats (which possess a sense similar to the trolls' own) but birds also are victimized...in order to stun them and knock them out of the sky. It is a group activity, by and large, although solitary trolls *have* been known to wander off, often in a state of extreme inebriation, to brood and vent their frustrations away from the rest of their kind. Bat-pinging is most often perpetrated by rowdy young Zorak Zoran cultists after cult gatherings and by drunken trolls of all walks at so-called sporting events such as "trollball".

Given the parallels between trollish bat-pinging and the nocturnal emphasis of cow-tipping, I can only surmise that this practice originated amongst humans during the Lesser Darkness when, for a time, trolls were the masters of the Surface World and humanity mimicked their actions in order to survive. As my scheduled expedition (I plead your lenience in the matter of my so-called "misappropriation" of expeditionary funds) was not of sufficient length to avail me the time to fully examine this theory in depth, I ask you all to advocate the funding of an entirely new expedition to explore the possibility of this startling hypothesis.

Yours in knowledge,

Jastalor Minareth, Sage-acolyte of Irripi Ontor Bagnot Temple -- Summer, Seventh Wane, Year Two


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