>I am far more interested in her story than in her viability as a character.
There's nothing wrong with writing fiction! But if you want to do it semi-randomly and collaboratively, i.e. by means of a game, you need to worry about game viability.
For example, if your character's struggles were all internal, or she had no reason to "adventure" then you'd have a problem. But I don't see that.
>But for purposes of conforming to what is an apparent convention
I wouldn't call it a convention even though HQ2 relaxes the prose approach to _about_ 100 words*. It's been part of the rules since day 1.
And while you have a fair amount of leeway, any resulting abilities should come from the description. If it's important enough to be shown in play, it should be there. For example, I don't see where Elitist comes from (I don't remember that from the longer version either), and Loathes Russians isn't here (it was in the longer version).
It can be tricky to have that many flaws -- the idea is they are purely negative. One fix is to move them out of the flaw category. Frex, Ko might be inspired by her drive for vengeance during a fight. It might still have negative issues, but it's a useful ability, not a flaw. (Then again, it didn't seem like any of those she'd want vengeance against live in America, so it might not be that important -- I don't see it in the writeup.) Oh, I see you have it again under Personalities. Just pick one! If an ability increases, you don't want to have to track it in more than one place.
Relationships: Why not have old man, mother, rustics, or the martial arts school? You wouldn't put points into them if they're no longer relevant, but they could come up again (what would happen if someone from the school were sent to hunt her down?).
Strong, Daring, Sea Kayaking ought to be abilities.
How good is her ability to be a victim? That is, when would you roll with that ability to solve story challenges? Besides the fact that organized crime doesn't appear in the 100 words. Perhaps they should be a relationship.
If you consider Survivalist to be a keyword (I wouldn't, in that in the US at least it has connotations that don't seem to match the character) you probably don't also need Wilderness Survival. And Self Educated doesn't seem like a keyword to me (shorthand for lots of specific abilities).
BTW, I found the shorter version of the character more interesting -- I notice she's now broke, which seems a far better drive than having $250K in the bank.
David Dunham
Glorantha/HQ/RQ page: www.pensee.com/dunham/glorantha.html
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