I'd guess a pretty common sense approach is taken. For a formal spouse, or someone who fulfills much of that roll (you might have a child together, are agreeing to raise children together, property will change hands or families pulled together when you come together), I would think the out of clan rule applies. So men and women having sexual relations could result in kids, so counts. A Vingan and another woman or a Nandan and another man settling down together to be a family would count, and any formal arrangement would count.
But other stuff.....I think it would sort of be a no-risk, no-foul kind of approach. So what if some of the guys or gals are messing around together? Doesn't affect our alliances, doesn't result in kids, so as long as they don't want to be declared as a couple where is the harm?
With of course the proviso that some people may not except homosexuality in a casual context at all well--when it is in a form sanctioned by the gods they may not be able to do much about it, but in a more casual way they may choose to make their views known, possibly in a thoroughly nasty way.
Just my two cents worth, based on nothing more than my take on Heortling attitudes.
-Bryan
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