Re: Re: Heortling marriage

From: donald_at_...
Date: Sun, 27 Feb 2005 23:25:41 GMT

In message <20050227182000.18167.qmail_at_...> ALISON PLACE writes:
>
>While I do believe that Heortling marriage can be
>contracted with a minimum of formality, that doesn't
>mean that the clans need accept the wishes of the
>couple. The parents and clan elders are perfectly
>free to come down with big spiky boots on any such
>unsanctioned alliance.
>
>I would think that most young pairs would be quite
>respectful of the prerogatives of their elders. After
>all, your future livelihood depends on them.

Really? no thoughtless youngsters living for today, believing they're immortal and love conquers all?

The way I read it is that girls are strongly indoctrinated by their mothers about the practicalities of marriage. They are taught to make judgements about the suitablity of a match on those practical issues - "Can you bear to live with his mother?" "Is he a good enough farmer to maintain his father's lifestyle?" "If the relationship does break up how are you going to support the children?"

Thus they naturally go along with the competitions organised by their parents for prospective suitors, encouraging those who do well, snubbing those who do badly. And those competitions are often not to show prowess with weapons but other skills such as plowing, herding livestock, hunting and fence building.

At the same time the girls will be competing to impress their guests - both suitors and their parents. There'll be a lot of giving and seeking of compliments on cloth, pottery, food etc.

I think a lot of first marriages happen at a young age by modern standards - mid to late teens which avoids a long period when youngsters are treated as neither children nor fully adult.

>While
>young love and lust are powerful forces, I'm sure that
>there's so many stories of just such impulsive matches
>ending up with tragedy all 'round, with feuds over
>property and children, that few would really try it.

Just player characters then.....

>Also, with the relaxed attitude towards pre-marital
>sex/unwedded mothers that is apparently GAG for
>Heortling societies, the lust problem shouldn't be a
>huge factor. Pregnancy might be used as a negotiation
>device though, as in if the father's clan wants this
>child, better let him marry the mother-to-be.

There's actually be a bit of competition for which clan the couple live with. After all if the couple want the marriage and the girl's clan is happy with it then they could opt for an Esrolian marriage. While consent of both clans is preferable only one is really needed.

-- 
Donald Oddy
http://www.grove.demon.co.uk/