The Goat Boys (and Girls)

From: Oliver D. Bernuetz <bernuetz_at_...>
Date: Wed, 17 Mar 2004 20:41:06 -0000

To go with my feeling that some worhippers of Gerendethos have to be in on the siege and to provide some household troops for Stu's General Valkhonius Ytrior I present:

The Goat Boys (and Girls)
"Where's the beer at then?"

The Goat Boys (and Girls) have long been the household troops of General Valkhonius Ytrior family. Many years ago a young follower of Gerendethos was saved from a pack of wild dogs by one of General Valkhonius' ancestors.  That follower, Altros swore to follow the Ytrior family until, "It wasn't fun any more and the booze ran out."   Apparently neither event has happened and his descendants have served the Ytrior family ever since as household troops.  When General Valkhonius went to war some of the Goat Boys (and Girls) went with him.  They are extraordinary scroungers and somewhat indiffernet scouts.  Their personal hygiene and demeanour leaves much to be desired but their loyalty to the General and his family are unshakeable.  They do of course have martial skills and are actually some pretty decent irregular infantry.   Their abilities to live off the land and move quickly through hilly terrain with little or no supplies makes them pretty useful.  Their sloth is legendary until they absolutely need to act.  When they do act it is swiftly and efficiently.

Common Names: The Billy Goats and Gals, The Stinky Brigade, The Hill Scrabblers.

Form: Household troops.  (Well, not indoor but household nonetheless).

Ideology: The Ytrior Family are good people and must be obeyed first and foremost.  After that priorities are strict adherence to Lodril's Three Laws (which of course fits in nicely with priority one).  After that their priorities are eating, sleeping, and obeying Law #3 as much as possible.

Look and Feel: Incredibly scruffy band of irregular infantry. 

Purpose: To follow and protect the Ytrior family and have a good time.

Headquarters: Ytrior Family estate.

Reactions: Most people's reaction to them is to move upwind as quickly as possible. They have earned a (very) grudging respect for their abilities to maneuver in rough terrain, scrounge, and live off the land.


Leader: The unit following General Valkhonius is led by the identical Otrius triplets, Otar, Utar and Etar.  (One of the triplets is a woman but they're not telling so no one's sure which it is).  The male triplets keep "clean shaven" so as to increase confusion. Unfortunately the female triplet needs to shave too so stubble's not the giveaway it could be. The triplets claim that they have never slept alone, eaten anything they didn't like or couldn't keep down, have climbed the unclimable and beaten trolls in drinking contests.  They are also deadly warriors with their forked spears (2 metre long spears with a two tined fork at the end.  They insist this is a standard spear and Gerendethos apparently agrees since they suffer no modifications to their magic). The triplets act as one leader and unit members follow their orders impartially. This can cause confusion among outsiders who may want to funnel orders through the triplets.

Renowned Members: The most famous Goat Boy (or Girl) is Buttro the Hardhead. Buttro quested for the butting secrets of the Silver Age Genrendethos' hero Atticus. Unfortunately he now bears two horns on his head and for safety's sake he stays within the Empire. Less likelihood of being mistaken for a broo. Other famous members are of course the triplets and Big Gerta the Biggest and Smelliest who once wrestled a great troll into submission. Reports vary as to whether she ate him or just had her way with him (or both). Opinions vary widely as to which would have been the worst fate. Another important member is Old Canter the Quartermaster. His scrounging abilities are legend. He once found a Lunar lace christening dress in Prax. People shudder to think what he wanted it for.

Membership: Any follower of Gerendethos who swears to guard and protect the Ytrior family may join.

Other Contacts: They usually have good relations with other Lodrili. Other sections of Dara Happan or even Lunar society aren't quite so crazy about them.


The organizational structure of the unit is baffling to outsiders. Other than the fact that the triplets lead here in Heortland no organization structure seems to exist. They still manage to get things done though.

Membership Keyword

Membership Requirements: Must either be or agree to join the cult of Gerendethos. Swear to always obey and protect members of the Ytrior family.

Mundane Abilities: Scrounge, Shirk Work, Ytrior Family History.

Typical Personality: Lazy, Loyal

Magic: None specifically taught. Since all members belong to the cult of Gerendethos they get their magic from him or any source that the cult would find acceptable.

Altros (Guardian)

When Altros swore an oath he really swore an oath! After death he stuck around to watch over the Ytrior family by helping to guide and serve their household troops.

Method: Manifestation.

Form: Altros appears as a pitch black billy goat with four horns. In this form he serves as the Agent of Retribution. Anyone violating the unit's rules can expect a good swift butt. Sometimes this butt is rather fatal.

Communication: Any member of the unit can understand Altros' bleating as can any Ytrior family member. It is rumored that he can speak to other people but if this is true he hasn't done it within living memory.

Guardian Requirements: Obey and protect the Ytrior Family.


Awareness: Sense work. Followers can use this ability to sense approaching work. It can also be used with modifiers to detect oncoming battles. The modifers are less if the attack is coming right at the Goat Boys (and Girls) position.

Blessing: Get what you want. This works very well when a member is trying to scrounge something but unit traditions speak of more innovative uses.

Defense: Perfect hiding place. This works best for avoiding work but it can be used in other situations as well.


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