On the first issue, the unexplored aspects of Ernalda, I've already made one post, so I'll only add one more thing: I'd like at least a list and one line description of all of her worshipped sub-cults in Esrolia, where I suspect she fulfills some of the roles more commonly filled by men in Heortling culture (equivalents of Harst and the law speaker cults, for example).
That the Heortlings are mostly patrilineal I personally don't see as a particular issue. If they were mostly matrilineal the same issues with divorce and so on would still exist. In a society where people live in distinct clans some one is going to leave home to move in with their spouse's family, and that always has implications. In the case of divorce this will always make what happens with the children uneven, unfair, and good fodder for tragedy. If you prefer to play with a matrilineal clan, you can choose to do so in Sartar and be well within canon.
That the Heortlings are patralineal and to some degree patriarchal is
probably a bigger issue. I suspect that in the real world these two
do tend to go together—the person who grows up always within family is
more apt to be the one who takes on a formal leadership role, but that
is just my guess. What this combination does do is push women's power
to less formal and less tangible forms. She cannot immediately call
upon her sister or brother or mother, she has to call upon her
mother-in-law, her husband's brother's sister's, and so on. She is
less apt to have a place on the ring, so she has to use more
persuasion and back ground lobbying. Which is not to say that women
have no power or influence, I'm sure that is not the case. But their
power will tend to be more based around their personality and
abilities combined with the formal power of their husband, and less
around their own formally recognized power. For gaming that is an
issue. It is much harder to catch that on a character sheet, or to
quickly use it in a contest. It can be done, but there is certainly
more ambiguity in having a relationship like "well regarded in the
loom house" or "friends with Rana, wife of the lawspeaker" than in
"leads the fyrd" or "brother of Harvar lawspeaker."
Finally, I think that in general Ernaldans are presented as being too sane and wise to make good adventuring characters. Esrolia has a much less tumultuous history than do the Heortlings, and is a more populous and prosperous land, because of the power and wisdom of the Ernaldan approach—but it is not a place that nearly as many of us would choose to game. It is clearly a wiser course to recognize a potential source of conflict with another clan, and head it off early, build allies in the other clan to help deal with the issue, and find another way of doing things to stop that issue from escalating. But it is far more exciting to take part in the stand off when the issue has been allowed to come to a head, or to take part in a raid resulting in the feud from it not being resolved. Or to make a great personal sacrifice to resolve this now major problem. To use an analogy, most stories about sports figures are about the strikers, the high scoring winging, the home run hitter, or the seeker—not about the defender whose perfect positional play helped prevent scoring opportunities, the catcher who never drops a ball and bunts nicely, or the beater who does a good job of putting the other team off their game. Even then, the protagonist usually makes a mistake or two early on, from carelessness or over eagerness or something, and redeems him (usually, occasionally her) self later on by some piece of brilliance.
For that matter, you probably see a lot less Orlanthi characters who follow Allfather versus the other aspects. Personally I think Allfather has incredibly potent affinities—Making and Allfather are incredibly primal, the ability to make new things and to lead family (and by extension far more than family). These have the potential to change the world far more than does controlling wind and moving quickly. But they tend not to lend themselves to dramatic bits and high adventure. Believe me, I've tried, but my Yavor Allfather follower ends up using his lightning far more than his other magics, despite my intentions otherwise.
Even the aspect of Ernalda young and free is the healer, with one of the affinities being heal relationships. Again hugely important in society, but healing of body or relationship is mostly reactive. Good to have, but it does not lend itself to helping you take on that ravaging band of Tuskers directly. Oh, maybe it could help you persuade them to take a small tribute and raid elsewhere or something, but I think most players would rather kill the tuskers, or drive them off, or trick them into going elsewhere, or turn them in guinea pigs, or something likewise active and dramatic. These may not be the best solutions to the problem all of the time, but they sure are fun! I can't speak for everyone, but in everyday life I tend to be pretty cautious and focused on what seems wise in the long term. When I game, I want to take wild chances and make them work, swing from the chandeliers (or the oak branches), or go for the prize no matter how offended others may be.
I do think thought that the influence of cult virtues may get
exaggerated in the minds of those of us who started playing in
Glorantha with Runequest, where the really splashy magics required you
to become a priest or runelord. Absolutely initiates share some of
their gods virtues, but they are not so heavily bound to them that
there is room for nothing else, and in HQ you can have plenty of
interesting and powerful abilities that are not dependant upon being a
devotee. There is no reason that you cannot play an Ernaldan of
whatever sub-cult, and say that "Ernaldness wields the sword
"whirlwind" and wears Mr. Salmon's high-leaping boots." Bam, you now
have someone who can fight, and has wind and leaping magic, that she
can use actively. Oh, they start off a bit lower, but even if she
invests minimally in her initiate abilities they are bound to form
many useful augments, so she will probably do OK overall. Or for that
matter say that she is a healer, but when the warband took many
casualties she took up her brother's spear and shield and became a
warrior. There will no doubt be tension between her healer side and
warrior side, but that is pure role-playing gold anyway. In either
case the woman will be considered unusual, but frankly almost all
adventurers are considered unusual. She'll be more unusual than her
(other) brother who is a Destor initiate and likes going off to
strange places and risking his neck, but once you are leaving field
and pasture (or even guard duty) to do those sorts of things you are
pretty much beyond the pale anyway.
I'm not saying that it won't bug people, because clearly it does. I'm sure there are also some people who would like to play an Orlanthi healer, but for certain more people want to game with the more active rolls, so saying that one gender of character is automatically unusual if they take on active rolls obviously will annoy some people and offend others. However I think if you focus on creating interesting stories with the characters this can be as much a feature as a bug, because player characters are almost always unusual and special. So I think Ernalda's non-adventurous nature is an issue for gaming, but hardly an insurmountable one with a positive attitude.
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