/// Bravo. You do, in my eyes, get the Weirdness and Funiness abstacts "haut la main". And there was good competition. This had be bursting out in laugther.
> As if on cue...
>
> GLORYADZE EXTRACTORFAN AND THE MOSTALI SOUND MACHINE
>
> "Oh-ay-oh-ay! (oh-ay-oh-ay) Oh-ay-oh-o-ah! (oh-ay-oh-o-ah) Oh-ay-oh-ay!
> [Yah-yeh-go] (oh-ay-oh-ay) Oh-ay-oh-o-ah! [Yah-yeh-go] (oh-ay-oh-o-ah)...
> OOO!"
> --Incantation to Mostal the Great Maker
>
> Gloryadze Extractorfan was a true Gold Dwarf of the First Age, dedicated to
> restoring the perfect harmony of the Wold Machine. She concerned herself
> mainly with those minor parts of the World Machine known as 'Man'. Some of
> these cogs, gears and escapements were malformed and needed to be recycled.
> Others had the potential to run properly, but somehow didn't; and while some
> could be taken apart and put back together, a great many were simply poorly
> lubricated and required only minor regulation in a bid to fine-tune them and
> impart true rhythm.
>
> Unfortunately, Man's life-habits make a broken dwarf appear virtuous. Since
> it couldn't keep itself running properly, the dwarfs had to get involved.
> Gloryadze knew that the manipulation of sonic energy could induce Man to
> behave properly and operate at the proper beat within the World Machine. She
> and her team perfected a sonic regulator that could achieve such a feat
> without a preliminary dismemberment: the Mostali Sound Machine.
>
> This dwarfish treasure is hard to describe, but was constructed from the
> finest refined gold, silver, brass and tin - all forming a multitude
> protuberancies, levers, gears, jewels and springs. Partly because of this,
> and partly through racist defamation of dwarfs, the elves called them "cog
> boxes".
>
> When correctly operated, a Mostali Sound Machine emitted a vibrant rhythmic
> refrain that caused those components of the World Machine to which it was
> properly calibrated to start to move with an irresistible beat. The reaction
> to this stimulus (particularly in the shoulders) was wholly unconscious, and
> unless a body was well-limbered could cause poses that inflicted pain and
> muscle and bone trauma.
>
> The Mostali Sound Machine proved a useful weapon against those broken dwarfs
> infected with the Foolish Beat of heresy; it produced a signal to which any
> virtuous dwarf could move to freely, but caused arthymic spasms, dislocations
> and worse in apostates - a pitiful display known as 'break-dancing'.
>
> The first Mostali Sound Machine was constructed in Gemborg; cog boxes were
> quite prominent in Caladraland during the First Age, when many of the savage
> tribes fell under Martaler the Blazing Forge's patronage. It's very hot down
> in Caladraland, especially when one lives in the middle of a volcano, so
> Gloryadze's companions kept their beards trimmed short and tended wear
> open-chested working jackets, with large, magically treated collars and
> lapels to shield them from the ablative heat, and glowing talismans on their
> chests.
>
> The dwarfs took great interest in the volcanoes and their central function in
> the World Machine. Many Mostali were worshiped as gods by the savages; they
> presided over native ceremonies, which were often accompanied by Mostali
> Sound Machines. Even in the Third Age, some tribes preserve these traditions.
> In the west, those living around Bluesmoke worship Gloryadze Extractorfan as
> a totem: a tribal demigoddess; a patron of their ancestral hero-founder.
>
> Unlike many tribes, which prize height and a honed physique, they value body
> forms that mimic the dwarfs and practise brutal eugenics. Babies are forced
> into cramped cradles, while children walk around with weights on their heads
> and are fed raw eggs. Girls especially are raised in Gloryadze's image, and a
> chosen few are veiled and shut off from the outside world, condemned to a
> lifestyle of industry, dwarfish elocution lessons and weight-training. When
> they reach puberty they are robed in ritual costumes and daubed in metallic
> paint, to be sacrificed as brides to the stunted gods of the mountain.
>
> The dwarfs are utterly perplexed by this state of affairs, and hand the girls
> over to the Food Processors.
>
>
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