That would have to be my criticism also. None of it scared me, or even grossed me out. I would expect to feel goosebumps or a deep revulsion from hearing these people explain themselves. The level of brutality should be greater.
All of the information which the leaders deign to disclose should be filtered through their need to propagandize, and not only propagandize about the War Machine itself but also in favor of their own Pack and Regiment ("Sect" doesn't sound right to me) against all the others. "We are invincible," and all that rot. Saying makes it so, as is so often the case. Stories of the Kingdom's invincibility should be rife throught Fronela (and beyond). As with Napoleon's invincible Guard and the Invincible Armada, a single defeat will have devastating consequences on morale.
There should be less rationality, and more "We are Golani, we are insane" type ranting. It should read like it was shouted by a drill sergeant foaming at the mouth. There should be nothing that sounds like higher philosophy. "This is my long pole/ This is my spear/ This is for fighting/ This pokes your rear" and similar obscene doggerel should be peppered throughout.
The focus should be on the glory and excitement of war, in lightly veiled sexual terms. At the same time, the leaders should say things which sound similar to what "normal" leaders say to their troops right before a battle. (Julius Caesar entertained his troops with dirty stories, but he was an exception.) This quasi-normality should be part of what makes outsiders queasy.
As for the gods of the War Machine, I liked their semi-familiarity but there's something missing. Maybe each cult should get a one-paragraph speech by a priest of that cult, so the write-up as a whole has similar slants on each. Some should be recognizable as Malkioni saints, too.
I flashed on something else about the KoW: Perfe no longer exists. That is, its patron saint/deity has been cast down and either wounded and expelled or completely destroyed by the magic of the KoW. I don't think the KoW has the power to subjugate an enemy city patron, but that's also a possibility.
The KoW has certainly conquered lesser local spirits, though. Part of the terror they present is the strip-mining of local magic, resulting in areas not only unable to sustain human life but also unable to sustain human spirits. This is because, after a few years of ill-treatment at the hands of the KoW, many minor spirits are Tapped into non-existence or driven to the spirit plane. Restoring such damage will be the work of a hero.
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