Well "Love Family" is a less relevant ability to fighting than Spear Combat so strictly speaking you should be applying penalties. The narrative elements - actions and the description of the action resolution should also reflect the ability used (the less the declared actions reflect that ability, the bigger the penalty up to the point where another ability must be used instead).
-- -- "The T'ang emperors were strong believers in the pills of immortality. More emperors died of poisoning from ingesting minerals in the T'ang than in any other dynasty" - Eva Wong _The Shambhala Guide to Taoism_ Paul K.
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