A Gloranthan movie? I'd **reeeeeeeally** like to see a CGI Orlanthi duck bandits vs Lunar(?) ballista baboons epic, set on a rainswept Sartarite mountain and locales exotic & diverse, with a wagon full of beetroot, flustered humans, despotic deities, baffled chaos armies and a celeb walk-on Zorak Zoran raiding party, perhaps played by Russell Crowe. But that's just me.
Voices for the ducks would be... Quentin Crisp, Ozzie Osbourne, Tim Currie, Brien Blessed (as himself), and PJ Harvey. Voices for the baboons might be Johnny Dep, Butters from South Park, Gillian Anderson, Bjork, and Madonna (playing Bjork Minor - which she does quite a bit these days). Soundtrack by Public Enemy, based on original lyrics by Warren Zevon.
I'd like to have John Travolta in it somewhere, but offhand I can't think of a character I hate enough for him to play. Possibly the Red Emperor, or even the entire Lunar Empire.
As with most movies, the pitch is all in the tagline. 'Bad 'Boon Rising!'*
Failing that, I guess we could do Kallyrkala - 'The mystery of Kallyr - how one woman became a god'. Pure sword and sandal, with that woman from Speed who you get when the budget can't afford an A-list star. As Argrath.
A rather distant third would be Sheng: The Musical, with original lyrics by Nick Brooke, and original soundtrack by anyone but Nick Brooke.
John
And as things fell apart
Nobody paid much attention.
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